


Pissin' our pants yet

by CherrySoulth



Category: The Walking Dead (Comics), The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Attraction, Complicated Relationships, F/M, Sexual Content, Sexual Fantasy, Sexual Tension, Smut, Strangers to Lovers, Survival, Survival Horror, Tension, The Sanctuary (Walking Dead), Walkers (Walking Dead), Wilderness Survival
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-15 04:27:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 46,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28932495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CherrySoulth/pseuds/CherrySoulth
Summary: You put your guard down because of it, trying to process, so you notice too late he's going in your direction. He hasn't seen you because he's coming from behind, but when you move he notices there's someone. The place is almost quite. But he doesn't say anything immediately, he waits for you to get on your new spot. After all, he loves to play.-Oh, so I have company! Come out, come out, wherever you are.......- Well! Look. at. you! .... You have a name pretty thing?
Relationships: Negan (Walking Dead) & Original Female Character(s), Negan (Walking Dead) & You, Negan (Walking Dead)/Original Female Character(s), Negan (Walking Dead)/You
Comments: 8
Kudos: 18





	1. Hail to the king

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to the corrected/updated/upgraded and extended version of my first ever work: Pissin' our pants yet. 
> 
> I really hope you enjoy reading this! ❤

From the other side of the road, as you make your way out of the last line of trees, you see the huge mall. The cracks on the asphalt as nature is taking over extend to the building. Decorative trees and plants around the parking lot and the entrance have also gone wild but not enough to cover the vision from the top to bottom windows. Once more, showing the coast is clear, after observing the building for two days. 

The image of isolation and abandonment of the huge mall in front of you it's almost melancholic. You remember when places like this would be a spectacle of the consumerism the world was drowning into. When the green papers were all that was important in the first world. That is over now. Green papers mean nothing, they can't buy you food, drinks, a safe place or help anymore. Now it's you against everyone else in order to survive, in order to keep your integrity. Who you are. Your mind, your heart and soul.

Inside the abandoned building, the floor is a display of dead bodies. Most of them are already too rotten to distinguish anything but bones inside the putrid flesh. Some bodies missing big chunks or parts of their corpse, probably chewed after being attacked. Most people perished only a few days after all of this started, only to raise and take others with them. Until a week after, when the silence started to reign and little groups started to form. Suddenly there was nothing left. Just those things walking the streets attacking anything alive that crossed their path, that rekindled the real need for community to help each other survive or unleashed the perverse desires of those with sick minds and souls. 

The fresh meat is all those _walking dead_ care about because they lack of mind to think. No reasoning, no feelings, just the extreme hunger keeps them walking their senseless steps. One can cut them in half and they will still crawl with their meatless fingers to try and take a bite. But as scary as that can be, they are still less dangerous than people. The cannibals, who prefer to chase people for meat instead of animals. The rapists, the thieves, the murderers… All of those can use their brains to do what can only be held by nightmares. That's why rules were made for, to keep them at bay. There's no rules anymore. **Chaos has won.** A peaceful chaos that makes you forget there's a lot to fear sometimes.

You thank the fact most of the top to bottom windows are shattered in tiny pieces all over the place, so the air can flow and freshen, otherwise it would be unbreathable. When everything started, owners of places like this one tried to close the establishments and people would break in for supplies. At all costs. When it was evident the end of things was coming, old laws lost their sense and chaos won over reasoning. Most of the malls and supermarkets miles around are in similar condition, which makes them accessible but unlikely to be a good place for shelter or to hold any supplies anymore.

To your surprise the place hasn't been scavenged yet. Probably due to the huge amount of walkers you suspect gathered inside its walls. The remains and waste suggest a large number, a horde. Maybe it was even that what broke the windows, a horde attracted to a sound from the outside could perfectly pressure the windows until they **shattered**.

Those things are not interested in canned goods, pasta or dried food, that you know, and seeing that those things are untouched or have just fallen to the floor to a sloppy passer by, gives the cue. Walkers are thoughtless assholes, humans don't. The last ones would kill for a stock like this one. And, there's the fact, the parking lot is packed. Meaning, whoever went inside never left or it's long gone. The main road, clear so far.

You've taken your chances after observing the place during two full days because some hordes have the habit of leaving and coming back everyday most likely at the same hour. Like programmed computers, to take a walk away and come back home if they aren't disturbed or led away by something more interesting. During that time you've also been looking for fresh human trails on the little woods surrounding the building and there's none. Finally taking the chance and driving the ugly car you've been using lately, you hid a little away. The thing is dirty, marked by oxid and the left window on the back passenger has a full crack on it covered with tape. Not the fanciest thing to drive but probably not the first thing people want to steal and it even has low consumption. It works well enough for you.

Clearing up the walkers still standing their ground or properly said; not standing at all, you manage to go around the mall without too much trouble.There are only three food stores and you collect from them filling your trunk with enough food to last you for a very long time. The place is mainly formed by retail shops and now that the food thing is sorted, you take the chance to walk through the retail shops on the first floor. You are checking for things you can actually use but you enter one of the fanciest ones just led by curiosity, interested in the frivolity that life used to be before you hear a couple of trucks draw near. 

You hide behind a column to watch and evaluate the situation you are now in. Soon you notice they are not alone. There are two vans with them and they are parking at the entrance of the building that, for good or bad, doesn't have its large doors anymore, also scattered all over the floor. You start thinking of a strategy to get out of there but you know they might see you through the windows if not when you start the car. The car can't really speed up that much for an escape. You decide to keep hidden while listening to what's happening with the new arrivals, to get to know how bad the situation really is. Hoping they might just grab supplies, if they are interested in any of the ones that are left, and then leave.

You hear that they are getting organized in the hall with their combat boots cracking and squishing, glasses and rotten flesh at their pass. Then they stop and you can hear that someone is organizing the scavenging party if that is really what they are. You know you do not have too much time left to hide so, looking around you move to another column, one with a clothing shelf attached to it, that gives you more room to hide and leaves you in a blind angle from the windows and the corridors outside the shop. Your idea is to get out from there when everybody is inside the shops but there's a couple of different footsteps going to your floor. _'Fuck my life!'_ you think. The adrenaline starts to accelerate your heartbeat and causes your body to tremble ready to run, instincts ready to take over.

You know there is no way you will actually manage to get out of there without being noticed and you see you will not be able to do it through the windows because there is no good place to hang before jumping to the concrete. Choosing to stay hidden instead, trying to lower your breath and your heartbeat, only the first being possible thinking they will probably not stay too much in a luxury shop. Probably. After all, you're here just because you were curious. _'Fuck my fucking life!_ ' you curse mentally _'That's karma for not getting the hell out of here after getting the supplies'._ You know how dangerous people can be, losing people you cared about because of that, only demonstrates the fact. You get blocked for a second by the sight of blood in your memories, still able to hear the screams, vile raising on your throat. You hear a single person entering the shop, your heartbeat so strong you think he or she might be able to hear it. Struggling to contain your breath.

"Look at this fancy stuff!" says a deep throaty drawl baritone voice that makes you shiver the wrong way, to someone outside. "My wives are gonna pick up a fight to see who screws me first!!" And he laughs, making your knees weak. ' _Focus! Fuck!_ '.

You put your guard down just a second processing his words, noticing too late he's going in your direction. Steps getting closer and closer, heavy, probably from a big dude. He hasn't seen you because he's coming from behind the shelve, but when you move, trying to be as silent as possible, it turns out it does not work. You know right away he's noticed you because the place falls into tomb silence. He has stopped his advance but you can still hear the people moving outside. He doesn't say anything immediately waiting for you to settle in your new position. 

"Oh, so, I have company! Come out, come out, wherever you are…" he sings while he starts walking slowly. You freeze. You know there is no escape, sooner or later he'll catch you. You are fast, very fast but it sounds like there's too many of them for you to get away. You don't know what will happen next but you don't move, maybe with the stupid hope he thinks there's no one there. Again it doesn't work as he says: "Cm'on! I don't want to repeat myself! Show the fuck up, you dickless fuck!"

You take your gun out of the side of your belt and you make one of your fast master moves to get in front of him pointing the gun straight to his head, holding it with just one hand. You don't have that much munition in you, nine bullets and ammunition for a gun you don't have, but that's uselessly waiting in your car. Not that you could use it anyway. You don't know these people or their intentions and you are not the kind to give up without a fight. You will leave without a kill if you can, though.

"Well! Look. at. you! You definitely don't have a dick, do you?" You look at the man in front of you. Alpha male with handsome features. Thin almond hard brown eyes, a big smile with dimpled cheeks and even if his hair is pure black his beard is a mix of salt and pepper. Tall, more than six foot. Black leather jacket, red scarf and a wired bat at his right shoulder. He looks like he's fucking trouble personified. _'The kind of trouble I would have loved to get a bite of some time ago_ ' you think. But you don't look down even if you know he wants you to surrender. "You have a name pretty thing?" He seems amused by your intent to hold your ground but there's something else you can't read. His presence is intimidating, although it seems to you that in this very moment he isn't trying to be.

You don't answer but remove the gun safe with the thumb without moving it an inch from where you're pointing, in a practiced move to let him know you will use it if you have to. But you try to express with your face a more settled emotion. ' _I won't if you don't. Please, don't make me shoot you, handsome_ '. It wouldn't be personal anyway, the world has turned this way for everyone. You kill or die, and you are not willing to die today.

"Oh, that's cute! Are you really gonna shoot me!?" He asks with his smile not fading away any bit but his eyes are dark and dominant. He takes a step forward and it's like his presence can swallow you whole. You feel like your blood is no longer flowing to your fingers but rushin to your brain and feet, urging you to run away. ' _Your mother would be ashamed of you._ ' you hear a darker voice inside your head. Shame. Guilt. You shoot next to his head, missing on purpose.

"Let me leave." You say, frowning. Trying to scare him but when he chuckles the adrenaline takes over and your amygdala chooses the worst option. You freeze. ' _Am I scared? I'm the one with the gun, why the fuck am I scared?_ ' He takes a step further, knowing you didn't miss.

"Ooh! So you do have a voice! How rude of you not to answer me then. Nonetheless to shoot…" He says noding, cheeky. You see him wetting the center of his lips with his tongue. The way he moves and advances gives you the certainty that he's going a step forward on your movements. He knew you weren't going to shoot him as he knows you won't do it now but that means he probably knows why. And you don't, because you can't even explain how you feel. He really doesn't look as scary as your gut tells you he is. ' _I'm not scared. Intimidated? What the fuck am I feeling?_ '. He likes it, that you keep it cool in front of him, you can tell. You haven't lowered the gun, your hand is not shaky and you know your poker face is standing still. Practice makes perfect, they say. You distinguish the sparkle on his eyes and the way he grins, he likes you. There's lust there too but most men these days have it. Just as if the world going to shit and at least half humanity erased or turned into walking corpses tells them to try and repopulate the world. Or they were simply lustful before. Two more steps. ' _Focus!_ '.

"I'm not rude, I just don't know who you are…" You say trying not to take a step back even though his energy is telling you to do exactly that. You can't avoid taking a look at the inside of his jacket as he moves, the white tee enhancing the broad chest and the thinner hips. He exudes virility through every pore but the worse thing is that you've done this while he was looking at you and now he has a Chesire grin. He probably thinks you want him. ' _But you don't, do you?_ '.

"Hi, I'm Negan." You hear footsteps near, inside the shop, probably some other members attracted by the sound of the gunshot. Lowering it a bit to his chest unavoidably, he is intimidatingly just four steps in front of you.

"I'm Alice." You don't know why but you smile at him, it is more a kind of nervous smile but still a damn smile. ' _Fuck!_ '. Another two steps and he grabs your gun by the cannon. He is starting to get at the tip of your personal space, almost on top of you. ' _God… His body is so warm...'_ your little demon whispers inside of you. You shut it down to reevaluate the situation.. 

"See, that's a sweet name. Hope you are too." He replies with a wide smile, seeming to find the situation really funny. "I hope this is not your Wonderland, Alice. Because we are about to take every last nice thing from this place."

"Knock yourself out. Not the owner." You lose the grip on the gun and he puts it on the back of his jeans subjected by the belt, taking another step, he's now invading your personal space. ' _I get it handsome, you are the boss now but get a step closer and I'll knock those pearls out.'_ your self preservation instinct swears. If his intentions are the wrong ones you are fucked. The low footsteps become really fast and before you know it, someone is pointing a gun to your temple. "Threesomes are really not my thing, you know?" you grill to the holder. Negan laughs loudly.

"She's funny! Isn't she?" he points out to the man on your right and the one also laughs, just less enthusiastic. Looking by the corner of your eye it's obvious to you he'll shoot you without thinking twice if the other one asks. _'Then Negan is their leader...? Of course he's their leader…'_ Someone adds to the party, pinning the barrel of a sniper to your back, making you straighten up further from your normal position. 

"Definitely not foursomes." you keep your cool but you know if they do try to do what some male groups do these days, you will be better dead. "You guys can do whatever the fuck you want. Just be sure I'm dead after, or in between, because I'll make you regret the day you were born." You vile out. "Ah. And don't expect me to do shit!" You say, cold fire burning on your words. _'I should have tried to jump out the window and try to get to the car. Now I'll have to try to kill them all…'_ your hands at each side ready to grab the throwing knives on your belt. Negan stops smiling, it makes you expect for him to grab you or something but he looks stern.

"Oh! That's a no-no, sweetheart. We do NOT rape. I'm not gonna touch you. At least. 'Till you say so." He replies in a significant tone, giving you a naughty smile with his last sentence. When you raise a brow to it, he winks at you while he bites the tip of his tongue. "You have my word, darlin' " you sense he means his words but you stare at him for a long time without moving, before you allow the tension on your shoulders to slowly flow away. "Guys, come on, don't be rude. She's unarmed, ain't you, doll?" They immediately low their weapons but Negan pulls you towards him by the hips making the tension return. Just to start pulling and throwing to the floor the three throwing knives and the hunting knife on your waistband. "Pick those." he tells his man without taking his eyes away from you. "See, sweetheart, things are easy peasy when everybody cooperates." He smiles again. "Here, my folks and I, are part of a community, the Sanctuary, a civilized place with rules and all that good stuff! And you know what, rape is a shit I don't take in my house. Hell, I, wouldn't want to be in a community where the leader allows such things to happen! Whoever does something as bad as that, ends up meeting Lucille here. _The wrong way_ !" He says, talking proudly, putting the bat between you two. _'A bat with a name. Cool. Just like when guys used to put pet names to their dicks. Now they do to their weapons.'_ You think, but you can't avoid to wonder _'Why does the bat have a female name?'. "_ You two will get along. We might just make a threesome one day." He swings his brows to you while he bites his lower lip and your eyebrows get to a height you didn't think they could reach. _'What the fuck is he talking about!? Is that a threat?_ '. "Just kidding! You already said you don't like threesomes, haven't you?" He says while he chuckles carefree and you guess it is just his kind of humor. "Where were we…? Oh, yeah.The folks that came with me to scavenge today, are the Saviours. There's a bunch of 'hem at Sanctuary. If you work hard you'll become one of 'hem. Or you can become a wife." He opens his arms and gestures with his hand as if he wants you to hug him. _'You gotta be kidding me…'._ "I would sincerely love that..." He says in a low lustful tone, then winks and smiles showing his teeth. _'Damn. He's hot!'_ your demon speaks up again but you don't smile back and raise a brow again _'But, become his wife? Bitch. what. the. fuck?'._ You can't lie to yourself: you like him. You look around, the guys are still there checking the shop in case there's someone else, giving you two some privacy. 

It seems like they think he has everything under control. And he probably does. But you don't remember saying you were going to follow him and you don't like people taking decisions for you. Knowing so far he's a player, you know exactly how to let him know that about yourself. Also, it's the end of the world, a little game won't kill nobody. Cutting the last distance, your five foot with ten put you just in the right height. His eyes follow your movements but he doesn't move, neither seems to have intention to do so. 

"Who said I'm joining?" You whisper close to his mouth and display a lopsided smile. He seems to realize what you are trying to do and chuckles.

"So you do have nuts, hn?" He whispers too, as if that's something he loves and licks his lower lip from the side to the center, playfully showing his pearls while putting his chin up slightly. But you know that's because of how you did that. Privately. Telling him you know he is the boss but you are not a sheep.

"I do. I guess." You say distractedly, putting some distance between you two without breaking eye contact and something shines in Negan's eyes. He invades your personal space again just with his head towards your face as if he's going to kiss you but changes his course to your left ear. 

"We'll continue this later." His warm breath in your earlobe sends a shiver through your spine, his closeness allowing your senses to take him in. He smells like leather, cedarwood, musk and bay rum, the last one probably from a shaving product. To that your skin bristles and you just feel like you could plunge on his neck to keep smelling him. You hold yourself. Regaining his straight position he puts his left arm around your shoulders to lead. The two Saviours guarding Negan follow you when they notice. Approaching to the railing you see the rest of the group putting things inside the two trucks parked on the center of the hall.

"Dwighty boy, would you be so kind and hold Lucille for me. Treat her with love, I think she's a little jealous." Negan says passing the bat to a blonde guy with half his face burned. Avoiding to look at him for too long, out of respect, knowing you might make him feel uncomfortable, you look at the members of the group. Freeing you from his grip Negan puts his hands over the rail and whistles, making everybody turn around and look up or go to the center of the hall from the shops to do so. That shows he has real control over these people. "Saviours! Who are you?" speaks loudly for all of them to hear. The unison answer to the question makes you realize you are in front of a sort of army group.

"Negan!" You get it straight away. They are one. Submitting to a leader identity means total surrender. It reminds you of other great cults in history, like Manson with his community. They are Negan because they'll follow him no matter what and that scares the hell out of you. Eyes meeting Negan's, he sees you understand. He snakes on your personal space again, whispering in your ear.

"You're a smart ass… Still think you have a choice?" He asks making your body rise in goosebumps like a frozen breeze in winter caressing your skin. It seems unlikely. Although it doesn't sound like a threat, it's a matter-of-fact realization for you. Sadly you will accept it, you might even want it. Maybe you need to find a reason to keep yourself going, not just for mere survival. Not only a day after day of hiding from people and **the walking dead** . Even if you are not completely sure how things work, at least they look like they work. Hopping it wont end in mass suicide, as an inside joke, but really hoping so. _'At least they are not cannibals.'_

"Mhm." You mutter. "I mean, no, Negan."

"Consider yourself saved then!" He replies enthusiastically moving away from you. Civilization, community, laws... After so long, living under the natural law of survival to the fittest, without anything that could stop people from killing or hurting each other. Just the instincts. Survival. Kill or be killed. It sounds pretty good, reliable, but not everything that shines is gold and you need to be sure of it before compromising yourself or befriending anyone. After all, you have been taught that trusting people can get you killed. Or to be worse than dead.

"Now. These are the rules: You provide for me. If you find something you really like while we are collecting, you can keep it. Unless… you think I might like it more. You obey what I say, you get rewarded. You don't, you get punished. Plain and simple. Are we clear?" You nod sternly, meaning it. "So, you'll do what the others are doing just now. Useful stuff to the trucks. See?" You remember about your car at this point.

"Negan?" You inquire, getting a grin from him and an interested look.

"Hm?" He mutters in a relaxed expression while his eyes are pinned on yours.

"Is food granted?" If he lets you keep some stuff you scavenge that could mean you need to find your own food, giving it a better thought.

"Of course, darlin' " He bounces on his knees and you guess that's like a characteristic thing from him. "You can't work if you are starving! You're gonna have some good food if you work for me. As a general fact, Saviours eat good." Even with that, in your mind, you are already tracing an escape plan if things aren't as peachy as they sound, the only thing missing is to see where and how Sanctuary is. _'What if it's a sort of fortress or they lock me down once I'm in?'_ You start spiraling. _'But they could have harmed me already when it has become obvious that I'm here alone. They have not. I should wait and see, I guess…'_. "You'll team up with me, doll. See what you've got. Easy-peasy. Chop-chop guys!!" He says hitting the railing with both hands and all the Saviours move back to their tasks. Dwight gives Lucille back to Negan before walking inside the shop where you've been just minutes ago, along with the other saviour. "Shall we?" He says passing his left arm over your shoulders, again. You follow his lead also going downstairs. "Anything you want to tell me darlin'? I see that pretty little head of yours working it's pretty wheels." You have your essential backpack with you to flee at any moment but there's other things in your car. The big stock of food, the clothing, a machete and some other tools that have been helping you survive. "Anything you might wanna share?" The sideways look he gives you with that makes you think he actually knows what you have. 'How?' you can only wonder. All this could have been an ambush, their timing has been accurate, they could have been watching you from afar. 

"What if I do but I don't tell you?" You ask, trying to sound like you are being cheeky when you are really testing the waters. It doesn't seem to work because he stops dry and tilts his body towards you. 

"Well, in that case if I find out, i'll take your stuff or your people and I'll throw your pretty ass into a cell until I'm sure you've learned your lesson." He warns with truthful eyes and a mischievous smirk. Then regains his position and keeps guiding you looking at the front. "Personally, I think it would be a pretty stupid decision." He murmures looking at the front, giving you the chance to think about it.

"I get that. Well then, I have some supplies in my car you might find interesting." He smiles, pleased, but keeps his eyes at front. It seems to you like giving it up willingly is a far better option in this case. This is normally not the case. Who knows what that time in a cell really means. You can always get them back if you know where they keep them. And in any case, if you ever leave who knows if you would find your stuff where you left it. Some other people could take it while you are away. Supplies like yours are shining gold.

At the end of the day, what Negan tells you about Sanctuary does not seem like a bad deal. You have to work to get food and somewhere to sleep safe at night without having to be half awake to not be chewed up or attacked by other breathing creatures. Sounds very good to you. There's no rape, or so he says, and that's a lot of tension out of your system. Getting a better look on the group they resemble on style the kind of people you used to hang out with before everything went ape shit. Maybe it's just the looks because one can't judge a book by its cover and wolves can dress like sheep too, as they say. 

"Fat Joey!" Negan speaks loud, startling the guy in front of him as he was turning around to see who was getting near him. 

"Where do you need me, boss?" Asks obediently the guy with the bullying nickname.

"See! Our new friend here, Alice, has some good stuff in her car." He points at you then points outside. "I want you to go and bring it _all_ here."

"There are some personal belongings there. I'd rather go myself." You say and Negan looks at you from up, probably thinking you are trying to trick him. You turn to face him and meet his eye directly. "I'm not saying to go alone... I just-Look, I need to take care of it myself if you don't mind." You explain. You know so far the choice of words is also the difference between life and death, so you rather be careful with what you say or how you say it.

"I'll go with you." He says, starting to walk you both out of the mall. You don't say a word while you get to the car but you are starting to sweat under the Virginia weather. Or maybe because of his closeness. It's been too long since your last human contact. A couple of Saviours are fast to follow you.

"Jesus Chris!" He speaks when you open the trunk with the key. "Were you going to get yourself closed in a bunker? This could have fed you for ages! I have to thank whoever came up with the idea of clearing out this place, otherwise I wouldn't have found you." He whispers sensually in your ear. The octaves on his voice make your emotions shiver under your skin and your breath decides to betray you just a little. Enough for him to notice as he chuckles. "And this pretty stock of yours!" He adds on taking a salmon can out of its package. " _This_ , my dear, has you on my good graces. You are up for a treat!" He says as he moves away enthusiastic but his eyes stain on lust. " _Anything you want_. No need to ask." He says, very close to your face and your eyes fall directly to his lips, before you are conscious of what you've just done he smirks. "I mean it."

"Good." You answer automatically, turning around to take the other bag and put most of your tools inside. All necessary to avoid the look you figure out he has. You know the game you play is dangerous.

"What about a: "Thank you, Negan?"." _'What about a: How bossy asshole you are?'_ You think, still looking inside of the trunk while you try to regain your cold bitch expression. "Or a kiss would be great." He puts a lock of hair that's hanging in front of your face in that position and puts it behind your ear. His fingers brushing the skin behind your ear and half your neck before he pulls away. You damn the way your neck raises in goosebumps. "I can tell how much you like me already." His voice is seductive but not that much arrogant and you look up to see he looks a little bit worked up too. His breath unsteady, his nostrils betraying him, although his position is steady and authoritative.

"Not happening, big bad wolf." You cut him off, taking a deep breath, flickering your lashes away and looking at him calmed this time. "Thanks, Negan." You feel like this is the best option if you want to be safe. Hooking up with the boss has never been a good choice in society, there's probably no difference now. 

His scent is burned through your brain. He might get in your dreams but only in the privacy of your head you'll let him do whatever he wants. 

When he makes the pair of men pick up some packages, you two head back inside. Thinking about it, he smells masculinely clean, very clean, like everyday shower clean and although you're keeping up with your personal hygiene, it's not the same. You brush your teeth and use deodorant every day, those things are easy to scavenge. Washing everytime there's a river near, all to keep diseases at bay and for your own nose's sake. You thank the fact you washed just yesterday on a river, terribly aware of your own self, all the sudden. Not that you care about what he thinks but they all look very much the same clean fresh. You wonder if the camp is near a river.

After leaving your stuff on top of the back seats of one of the trucks, as you've been told, you help to pick up things from the first floor. Throwing tons of comfy clothes inside of big black bin bags and throwing them over the railing for one of the saviours to pick them up down on the hall. The other guy Dwight, doesn't have such an easy task as he passes by with boxes and takes them down himself, probably all the fragile fancy stuff. You wonder what use will that have. When you and Negan move to the next shop, you see in the corner of your eye how another truck has pulled into the parking lot. Probably because there's too much to take in a three floor mall that hasn't been overrun.

You are too focused on that fact, when you give a look on where you are, you almost get pale. A shop for women's undergarments. One of those ones where everything has lace or silk or anything that makes it look classy and sexually attractive. You are about to walk out, thinking Negan won't find anything useful there, when you see him looking at something on a mannequin. Arms crossed over his chest like studying it.

"Sorry Negan but this is freaking awkward... I mean what the hell?" He turns over his heels raising his brows.

"I guess you didn't hear me before. I have wives that need my attention." At this point, your brow is starting to hurt _'Tell me he's not saying what he's saying.'_ "What? You thought I would be single?" He chuckles. 'What a cocky bastard…' "This big dick needs a lot of attention, apart from my ape-

"Okay, I get the idea." You cut him off with a roll of eyes and start to look at the articles displayed on the rucks next to him. "What are we looking for?"

"It's a surprise you are still here." He says with another chuckle.

"Hum… You said we team up together...? I'll leave if you want me too." You start walking away but he grabs you by the forearm.

"I was just kidding." he tells you, awkwardly stern. His mood swings are a thing of madness. "Stay. Why don't you grab something for yourself?" He tells you with a wolf grin and bouncing his knees again. You wonder how he manages to be doing that all the time without them snaping.

"Nah. I think I'll pass, thank you." you chuckle and he looks at you as if you had grown another head. "So… I'm looking for...?"

"Whatever you think is hot in sizes Medium and Large." You nod. _'At least he's not a dog that likes bones.'_ You walk around the shop putting stuff in a shopping basket. It is a bit awkward, especially when Negan stares at you if you extend a piece of clothing to take a better look. You simply keep going, taking it like any other job. "You could try them on, be my model..." he suggests. "Oh… You don't know _how much_ I would love to see that." You don't know why you can't contain it but your reaction is to show him your middle finger over the ruck you have in front of you, arm extended so he doesn't miss it. You kind of regret it immediately but you hide a smile with the top shelf, looking down. To your surprise, you hear him laughing. "Ok, ok, ok." He stops laughing suddenly." But you better not do that again."

"Sorry, sir…" You reply, dragging the words.

  
  


When you go down to the main floor there's some boxes and stuff placed on the floor, everything that's fragile and food that 's being arranged carefully on one of the trucks. As Negan orders you to give a hand while he talks with a big dude with tanned skin, blue eyes and a quite unfriendly face, you get to know some of the Saviours. 

Arat is a high-ranking member, you can guess as she barks orders. She's quite young, some years less than you, with curly brown hair with blonde ends and round brown eyes. She has beautiful features but she also looks tough and well respected between the men. Joey, the man who almost gets his paws on your stuff, explains to you about the others as you two carry, place and secure boxes inside of the truck. He looks a little bit on the nervous side, not the very tough kind but respects the rules and follows them. His mass helps him with tasks that require strength, for what he does his job properly. 

You hear two Saviours, David and Ronald, who look like the dumb and dangerous kind, talk about someone named Jesus from a colony named Hilltop that's under Negan's control. They seem to dislike the guy because he is silent and sneaky. You think you two could get along, as he seems to be a solitaire when they talk about how Gregory, Hilltop's leader, seems to not have any kind of control over his comings and goings. At the same time, they also think Gregory never seems to know anything and he is constantly making a fool of himself. The gossiping between the two does not surprise you, what does is the fact that other communities work for Negan. That has to mean he is more powerful than you initially thought and that Sanctuary is probably a very big compound.

Once everything is packed and placed, Arat invites you to go on her truck as you two have had the chance to chat for a little bit but Negan claims you'll go with him. So you end up sitting between Negan and Dwight at the front seats of a black truck. You don't know if you are supposed to talk but it doesn't matter because you hear the static of the radio before any of you get the chance to do so.

"Negan, we have a situation." says a man over the waves.

"What is it?" Negan answers, picking it up from Dwight's right hand.

"Someone attacked the Satellite outpost, last night." There you see how Negan's natural grin turns into an anger grimace. "Boss?"

"What on the fucking fuck happened!?" he roars to the radio. "You better have somethin', Simon, 'cause we had a damn project in that fuckin' outpost!"

"I didn't suspect anything until this morning when they didn't check in so I went there and saw the massacre. Primo is the only survivor. They did the last check out for the night and an unknown group attacked them during their sleep. Someone set on the alarm and that's how they could try to defend themselves but they went overpowered." Negan's grip on Lucille, lying on his lap, tightens. So does his jaw. "Primo didn't recognise them."

"Any idea, who the fuck could have done this? Hilltop? The kingdom? They got new people we don't know about?" he asks, calmer this time.

"We are on it now. I'll find out. Leave it to me." the other man, Simon, replies dutifully.

"Simon." he doesn't give a chance for him to reply. "I don't think I need to ask this, but, I want them fuckng alive, ok? Keep me in the loop, I wanna know every fuckin' detail."

"Yes, sir." answers the other man and you would have sworn his voice wasn't so dutifully this time.

After that, the truck's cabin falls dead silent. Infuriated energy emanates from Negan's body like warmness irradiates from the sun. You are about to say something when Dwight elbows you softly and denies with his head, without taking his eyes from the road. 

Half an hour later, you can tell from the clock on the dashboard, Negan clicks out of his thoughts and looks at you, instead of outside the window at his right side. 

"So, darlin', are you with a group or something? If it's so, how can they let a pretty thing like you out there alone?" he asks as he opens the window and lits a cigarette. 

"I've been alone for the past six months or so. It's hard to tell exactly." You tell him looking at the front to a straight road under the sun, so hot it's already starting to show waves in the air. "Some stuff doesn't even seem real these days… Just like taken from a movie or some nightmare."

"Yeah, this new world has become some crazy shit." he agrees. "Lucky for you, we found you. No need to be alone anymore..." He winks at you, with a second meaning.

"Don't be so sure I'm the lucky one…" you tell him as a joke but it sounds as if you actually mean it. 

"So cocky!" he chuckless. "I can't say I disagree…" he looks at you from the corner of his eye, wolf grin attached to a lady killer demeanor. It kind of works because you look away and he gets comfortable at your side. 

  
  


You can tell his mood is still on the bad side but it's slightly better. His head back to working it's wheels as soon as a huge factory appears in the distance but something tells you that's how he is. A chess master that knows it's opponents next movements and for that reason how to move his own pieces to jack mate. 

You are kind of surprised when it turns out that's the building where they live in but it does not surprise you when you see a chain link fence full of walkers attached to it. What it really does is the people you see inside, working as if the undead were not even a thing. Although, most of them look like they could benefit from some rest, food and a shower, as they look exhausted and drained, your attention is taken by surprise by a group of kids that walk between the people and then disappear behind a metal door. _'Kids!'_ you think. After all what you've seen happening around, Negan has managed to keep them alive. You even get the thought that maybe somewhere in this huge building you may find a baby, born in this mess, but safe. Sanctuary does feel like a safe place.

You notice that everybody kneels when Negan passes near them. He is like royalty, not just a leader. You can feel that self-confidence oozing from every pore of his body and as nature leads us, you have become attracted by that since the moment you two crossed eyes. Sure, his attractiveness is more than enough for him to have anyone he wants but powerful confidence attracts people. As simple as that. That is what makes him a good leader, he makes people feel like he has the situation under control, so people rely on him.

Growing up as the daughter of a captain from the army you raised up under the orders of a leader. As cliche as that is, you know perfectly how to deal with the bad sides of it and to push soft spots. Your mum was an exceptional human being, a real survivor but nothing prepares you for waking up being attacked by one of your mates as he died during the night and turned into a walking dead.

As much as she showed you how to manage people you are still not a hundred percent sure what you are dealing with. Negan has that mysterious vibe and he seems smarter than anybody you have had to deal with while being alone. It has not been that long ago from when you were prosecuted by a couple of freaking cannibals that thought you would make a good dinner.

  
  


Negan shows you your designated room, a pretty simple thing but it seems to you like a palace after where you have been sleeping for the last months. Mainly abandoned trucks or cars until the one you left in the mall. Basically, anything that could keep walkers and people away. It did not always work for the alive ones, so your sleep was never deep or you were never really relaxed since there was no one to keep an eye for you. Things were really different when you had a group. _'Maybe things will get better now.'_

He asks you to stay there while he's sorting things out for what happened with the outpost. Now, you realize that if there is an outpost, and for the line of the conversation there is more than one, plus the amount of "saved" people in the building, there has to be a really big amount of Saviors. Now you can kiss goodbye to the idea of escaping this place. You are kind of sure that if this place works as you think, and for what you have just seen so far you are kind of certain of it, there is no way you are leaving by the front door alive. So this is your life now, at least till you find a way to leave, if you want to. You are kind of sure you don't want to, for now. Not sure if it's curiosity or just you longing for some normal human interaction. Loneliness does mess with your head sometimes. 

You go around exploring every inch of your new home, a full apartment with its own kitchen, bed and even a television. You have a wardrobe but not much to put in it so you decide to leave your bag inside for the moment. While you are thinking about how much you want to get a nice sleep in that bed, someone knocks on the door.

"May I come in?" you hear Dwight on the other side of the door.

"Yeah" you say, turning to face him as he enters with a towel and toiletries on one of his arms.

"Negan wants you to get ready for tonight, shower and stuff... Umm... He said you can go to the market and pick up something cool in the clothes section." you wonder what is this all about and you look at him like _'Do I not look cool in this?'_ faking to be offended. You wear a long brown jacket, a little oversized black T-shirt, jeans and military boots, everything is really used but it has worked up for you so far. "Negan said he wants you to look more like... yourself." Indeed you don't look like you usually did. _'But how does he even know that?'._

You definitely look like some generic person if there was one but that is the point, to look less like a fighter as possible. If people underestimate you there are more chances of getting out of trouble. You think he is going to say something else but he leaves the stuff on top of your bed and asks you to follow him with a gesture. 

The market in Sanctuary is a place where people can exchange points for stuff as you have been explained earlier by Negan. The points system is a mere euphemism for capitalism, using points instead of bills. The same exhaustion of living to work and not working to live is pictured on every person you walk by as you take a good look at the stands before catching up with Dwight. There's such things as: pharmacy, devices, food, toiletries, etc. Still though you don't think whatever is put of basic living supplies is affordable for these people and you start to feel concerned about their situation and how abusive Negan might be.

Once on the clothes stand you find a pair of black fake leather trousers, an over the hips bordeaux red top and a black denim rocker jacket with some scratches. You grab another pair of military boots, these ones have some height on the heel, one and a half inches probably, and a pair of thin socs.

"Do I have enough with my points from today for this?" you ask, not sure about who may know that.

"This one is on the house." _'Is it a reward or a owe me kind of thing?'_ you are not sure, you must be showing up your confusion as he says. "We-The Saviours don't work exactly with counted points anyway. You earn what you take, as Negan says."

"Oh... ok, I just need a couple of thigh holsters then and I'm done. If that's possible. My specialty is to throw knives, more than any other thing." He doesn't seem to mind. Now that you notice he doesn't seem very happy either, although he's a Saviour, and you wonder why. His life should be easy in comparison with the people working around you, yet he looks… sad. You wonder if his burned face has something to do with it.

"I'll find someone to look for it. You should get ready, I'm starting to get hungry." without saying a word he heads back to the stairs and you hurry to follow him through the corridors, knowing for sure you will need to walk around to get to know the building. Once you pick up the stuff from your room he leads you through, again, to a community shower and waits on the other side of the door. You have good expectations on clean water but when you turn on the shower and steamy water comes out: _'No fucking way!'_ you scream mentally. You fastly get under the water and get rid of all the dirt in your body, feeling like you are washing some of your skepticism with it too. You are not up for a brain wash though, you've been here for less than an hour and you already know Negan is indeed a dictator. He favours those who work directly for him but those who work for the system are not in good shape or happy at all. You've also seen, along with respect and somehow admiration, the fear in some of them. Deep in their tired eyes, hooked to the bone. It makes you even more aware of how careful you need to be with Negan and those who respond to that name. He's not even close to being a saint, the good thing is that he hasn't tried to make you think he is.

After you get dried and dressed with your new purchases, you decide to fast dry the last remains of dripping water from your hair with the towel and make a single french braid, leaving a couple of tufts on the sides. You hear a knock on the door and you hear that unique voice.

"Having fun there?" says Negan with his characteristic chuckle. "Do you need help?" he adds with a second meaning, in a seductive tone. "I can wash your back... Maybe you ca-"

"I'm done." you reply, opening the door. You find him just a few inches in front of you with Lucille on his shoulder. It seems like it's his natural posture as if Lucille was meant to be there. "Is this cool enough for you?"

"Fuck yeah, it is! You look like you could kick a couple asses just bating those lashes! You would do a hell badass of a wife!" he chuckles as you raise a brow and looks up and down on you. "I knew it! That glare…" he fakes a shiver. "I knew the second I saw you pointing me with that gun, that you, were something else... You have something that tickles--"

"Are you talking about the fact that you think and _I am_ smart enough to know how to play your game? Or the fact that I'm cool as f-word?" you take a little breath and don't let him answer. "If it's the second, I would be surprised, as I didn't think that was a requirement to join the team... after taking a close look at some of your guys." In between those sentences you've kept the eye contact, you hear a cracked chuckle coming out his throat but he doesn't answer. He seems to think you are funny, which isn't exactly a bad thing but there's a couple points you wanna make clear as carefully as you can. For some reason you don't feel like Negan needs to be necessarily a threat to you, aware that it can also be a misinterpretation and pointing out things might teach him who he is dealing with or put you at risk. Even with that, you feel like he might have already read underlines with you. "I understand by fact, all you have done until now is being nice to me. But it has given me the impression that you think that because I'm a woman and I'm alone, I might be somehow... inoffensive." you put your hands at the side of your hips. "I would be offended if it wasn't because that's the exact image I've been trying to portrait. But I'll admit you are underestimating me if that's all you can see." in response to that, his eyes show the lust on his attentions but he seems to want to listen more. "Or maybe, you have second intentions which are not exactly offensive but bothering as I have no intention to become your entertainment. Sir." you have to take a step back because this time it's been you who invaded his personal pace getting on your tiptoes close to his face. At this point, he's looking at you wide eyed. Surprised you had the balls to confront him straight away. 

"Oou-holly shit! I hope there's more smartass prate where that came from!" he does his thing with the knees again and says with a husky tone, that tells you more than you need to know where your attitude has hit. "I like you. I really do. I think you'll do great things here. And truly, I want to have your pretty face by my side, one way or another." he smiles, closing up the space between your faces. "Now… I'm being nice to you because I can read you like an open book. I also know if I do shit to you I'll not sleep well afterwards." _'Yes, I would take that chance to slit your throat_ ' you think. Even if you know what he means. Quite sweet. "You are kinda special. I'm not sure what... But I have that feeling that tickles my nut sack that you'll surprise me with a magic trick." he cuts off the short space between you two with a wolf grin. You can breathe his scent and feel his breath over your nose. It drives you crazy long enough for you to think about grabbing his face between your hands and kissing his lips slowly, and when he opens his mouth to answer your kiss you would kiss his under lip from one side to another before making it deeper. _'Holy shit! Those hormones giiirl!'_ you feel the need to throw a cold bucket over yourself but decide some mental hold will have to do. You get back to reality to notice he smiles at you. You are looking at his lips not his eyes anymore and it has been so obvious that you feel like he knows what you just thought. "I can't wait to see _what you hold_ _for me_ , sweetheart." You look in his eyes again, the blush stains your cheeks as you start to feel a real need to kiss him. Then, unconsciously, you start to get closer to him. He cuts the last distance between you two putting his free arm around your waist, pulling you towards him, getting closer to your lips.

"Boss, I've been looking for you…" you hear someone behind him, Negan is now bothered, you can feel it on the tension on his body but you tap your hand on his chest to make him react. He moves and turns just enough for the other man to see what he interrupted. "Sorry boss. I didn't notice you were in such good company." you take a look at the tall man with a severties mustache and dangerous eyes. "Hi, I'm Simon." introduces himself with a cheeky smile.

"Hi, I'm Alice." you reply, a little bit too serious for what you intended. You feel Negans' body language change to a _'Dude, fuck off!!'_ so you take a step back making Negan release you. He looks at you for a moment with deep eyes but turns immediately, flexing his legs and making a gesture like saying _'What an inappropriate moment, Simon!'_ and turns back to smile.

"Let's meet the rest of the team, shall we?" says Negan. You don't move immediately, so he puts his arm over your shoulders to lead you and looks at Simon sideways over your head. As you two enter the common area followed by the mustache-man, every savior kneels to Negan. He asks you to stay behind him and listen carefully. So you do. Everybody keeps silent.

"Tonight I'm pissed" says Negan in a harshs tone, loud enough for everyone to hear. "This afternoon, I was having my hot diggity dog moment after a succulent scavenging. Then Simon here tells me: that some of my Saviours have been murdered while they were sleeping!" he gives a second for people to react before talking again. "Ooh... and that, THAT, is a grave NO-NO! I'm not gonna let shit like that and do nothin' about it… My guys deserve at least to die fighting, not to be stubbed on their back while they are not looking!" he looks furious about it. "Who the hell does that anyway? A coward!" he gets a general agreement. "Whoever did this, has to pay! So I want every search party putting all their asses to work hard on knowing which kind of DICKLESS SHIT did this to my men." he takes another pause. "I want you to bring them to me and let Lucille make justice! Now, who are you?"

"Negan!!" they all answer and Negan smiles proudly.

After his speech you follow him downstairs to where the others are, he introduces you to the higher ranks of the saviors. Arat gives you a nod in recognition while you walk around. You see others look at you and whisper to the man at their side. You don't need to be very smart to guess why or what they might be saying.

"You'll get to meet everybody else as the days go by. I don't want you to get stressed up with names just now." Negan adds with a smirk. _'Too nice…'_ "You'll need to use that brain of yours for other matters. Names ain't that important right now."

You start to walk away from Negan as Simon and Dwight approach to talk to him. You don't want to get into other people's business, as curious as you might be about what's really going on in this place. You see that Arat calls you over with her hand and you decide to go see what she might want. She offers you a beer as soon as you are near enough and you gladly accept it. _'Oh my... a cold beer!'_ you think. Not that you are very enthusiastic about alcohol itself but you still appreciate it with the weather.

"My mates and I here were wondering what's your specialty. We guess that if you are not with the wives by now, Negan must have seen something else than that pretty face on you." says Gavin, one from the high ranks that's in the group, also drinking beer. You get near Arat and take two knives from her belt and shoot just behind Gavin. He turns to see that five yards from his position. On the dart game there is one knife in the bulls-eye and the other less than half an inch on top of it. Perfectly lined up.

"Yes, in fact, he sees something." says Arat winking at you. "I guess you really don't need to talk to send a message." she chuckless taking a sip.

"I guess you can't really talk with his dick in your mouth. Do the bruises on your knees hurt, pussycat?" says a big dude with a bully face. You smile as you approach him.

"It must be harsh, that women don't like brainless assholes like you." you say with a cold smile in your eyes. He chuckles and approaches to grab your ass. 

"I know little sluts like you would do anything to raise and not have to do a thing. That's why he has so many wives." he says lowering his voice in a wannabe intimidating tone. As close as he is and still grabbing your ass, you grab him by the crotch and squeeze so hard he yelps. 

"You'll be surprised what I can do with what you lack off." you say to his face as he starts to turn white from pain. "By the way, I'm talking about the mind, honey. Not all of us are only flesh and bone without the capacity of reasoning like you." Then you let him go and punch him right in the left side of the jaw with all your strength. "That's to show I don't need a man to do anything for me." then on the right. "That one's for grabbing my butt. That's not the way to treat a lady. You prick." to that he falls to the ground k.o. "Who's this?" you ask in a despectives tone, still breathing fast from the effort of knocking down a massive body, while pointing at him. At that very moment you notice the room has fallen silent.

"His name is George." says Arat, her eyes still wide open in surprise. You start to hear a slow clap from a side and when you turn to look, you see Negan with a wide smile.

"Fuck me, darlin'. You have quite a temper, don't you? Look! He's lying there like dead weight and you ain't even that tall!" He says almost laughing. "Remind me not to mess with you. I _do_ appreciate my balls." he says, invading your personal space. _'I fucking get it! Your man, your rules.'_ You think for yourself relaxing the way you look at him. _'Why does this dude has to be so hot…?'_ "Someone take this _poor_ fucking cunt to our dear doctor, please." To that, you see two guys fastly come to get him. "Now, sweetheart, let's get you something to eat. That must have left you hungry." he says already leaving, but turns his face over his shoulder and says. "Oh! But first things first." then turns on his heels. "Who are you?" 

  
  
  
  
  



	2. Match in the gas tank

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hii, here's a new chapter! ❤
> 
> I hope I made it understandable. As always, if there's any mistakes or something doesn't make sense, please use the comment section. I'll be glad to improve ❤

The silence is fastly made in the room. He wants that kind of social pressure on you. He wants you to feel the tension, the expectancy on you giving the right answer.

"I. Am. Negan." you say in a firm tone, after a few seconds where his eyes studdied you closely, knowing why he choose this moment and does not wait for you to be more integrated. Being Negan means giving up your identity to be part of the team, doing things as a group, as Negan would. If you were not Negan, your attack to George would then have been an attack to Negan. So even if you don't mean it, that was the only possible answer.

"That's true, you fucking are!" he smiles at you with a wolf grin. "Let's see what succulent dinner my wives have made tonight. See what I was talking about? This will be my treat for your cooperation earlier. Still though! You can ask anything you want." he says rubbing his hands first then looking at you from up with a wolf-kind smile. "Anything…"   
  


After that little moment of initiation, you just follow him through the whole set of stairs in the building, going to the higher floor to arrive at his chambers. Two beautiful women in elegant black dresses are waiting, leaning on the frames of the double doors. They both get surprised to see you by their expressions but not a single word leaves their perfectly painted lips.

"I'm going to put myself comfy and then I'll show you around." he makes a gesture for you to get into his room but you stay in front of the open door. He makes another gesture with his mouth as a way to say 'Ok, don't come in then'. You watch him as he takes his jacket off and does the same with his white tee. Now, you can see his well-formed back and some tattoos on his body, he's not too muscular but surely sexy as hell. Gorgeous. You want to kiss his jaw, his neck, his throat going down through his chest. Bite him, leak him. You swallow instinctively. As he grabs a clean one, he reprehends you, as who would do to a child because it's fun with a singsong tone. "I know you're staring." Instantly you look away, towards the wife at your right. They both are giving you a pity look, like 'poor thing'. You guess it's because Negan can't see them. You've seen their earlier reaction when he arrived. Fear.  _ 'Why do they fear him? They are his wives. Is he mistreating them?' _ The idea angers you. "You ok? Have you seen a ghost?" asks Negan just a few centimeters from you. Then you notice they are looking at the front again. Like two beautiful fallen angels protecting their master's door.

"Yes. I mean... No. What are we having?." you say in a childish tone following his late joke, letting him pass and following his way.  _ 'Why is everyone so scared of him?'  _ Then something twists in your stomach, sensing the danger in the shadows.    
  


He has a nice living room, similar to the one in his wives quarters that Negan has showed you when he's decided to 'ask' to the wives to add another plate for you at dinner. The four woman in the room have taken a pitying look on you while Negan explains to you how having his wives can make him feel human again. That would have pissed you off in another time but for some reason it hasn't hit anywhere. You are not sure what that look is for, anyway.  _ 'Do they think I'll become a new wife or something…?'  _ you brush it off, not really caring about what they might think about you.

All inside the rooms is black, grey, silver, champagne and gold. Except for the flowers on the table. Red velvet roses, perfect, as if they were especially chosen for an advertisement. Everything looks like if you are not at the end of the world but in a luxurious house, except for the windows that shake you back to reality. You are surprised by Negan's classy ways. You would have expected something more like a gangster-styled kind of thing; sexist, with stripers or at list a pool bar. Maybe because some of his guys look like that kind of lack of taste type of guy, who prefer bulgar stuff and look at a woman like meat only made to please them. Maybe you are just judging by bad experiences, you don't know these people anyway, because you have found this place a look alike of a king's harem instead.

_ You used to like motorbike gangs. Most of them were cool, some were even hot. Usually you got sexually involved with a guy from a club and fled before things got too serious. Or even if they just got emotional. Your mum had you at a young age as a consequence of loving your dad too much. He was a police oficer and ended up being shot when he tried to arrest a thief. That was one of the reasons for you to avoid falling in love for someone, that fear of people dying on you, but a broken heart was the main reason. You had a boyfriend once and you fell in love blindly. The guy was too broken or you were too young and unexperienced to help him at all. You tried your best, ending in a useless effort. He had been your first love, your first in all and that always leaves a mark.  _

_ You avoided drugs and weapons too, even though you knew some people inside the gangs worked on that. You were just a hang around or maybe they considered you a croweater but you never heard them use that word with you because of your brother and your boyfriend. They might have used it after but you were deaf to those stigmas in order to avoid being banned, for causing trouble, from entering a club. You needed to be thick skinned when it came to male centered clubs because sexist jokes or comments were at the order of the day. Besides your own thoughts about what as to do with man and woman, you were, and whatever they said didn't hit hard on you. It wasn't so cummon to hear something meant to be ofensive towards woman because their say wasn't meant for hurting. _

_ The percentage of drug dealers in motorbike gangs was really low but you happened to cross the wrong people a couple of times. Especially when it came to your exboyfriend's brother who was a dealer and a consumer. 'Even with that those were easier times' you think 'Or at least I didn't have that much life-threatening situations...' Your brother and your ex made sure to keep you away from trouble as they knew what was behind courtins and didn't show publicly. _

His wives are already seating on the table when you get back to reality. You notice that they are all dressed in black and high heels like the other two, they look like ready for a party in the hot spot club from the moment. But it seems to you as if you are in a funeral with that kind of tension coming from that: 'I don't know what to say' in the air. You think that someone else would feel uncomfortable because of that. Or maybe because Negan almost kissed you that evening after your first proper shower but you like them, like someone that likes a bird that's inside a cage. Beautiful creatures on display. Some people feel the need to free them and you are that type.

You do not understand how their relationship with Negan works. So far you get that Negan likes to explain things loud and clear, so you probably just have to ask a question, sit down and listen but you don't know if it is a sensitive subject to break in your first night in this place. Especially in front of his wives. 'Six wives!' you think. 'What is he trying to compensate?'.

The wives almost don't say a word during the dinner and you just add the necessary to keep Negan talking. You are in the need to know more about him, how he thinks, how he moves but he starts to talk about the attack on his outpost and the fact that it has to be a group running around his territory without him knowing who they are. The ones he knows, don't have enough nuts the defy him this way.

"So, honey, what have you seen before you arrived at the mall?" he asks before putting the fork with the last veggies in his mouth. The redhead wife, Frankie, looks at you for a second, surprised.

"Do I want a full report of the situation surounding your safe perimeter or you want just the general concept? I'm gonna need some maps and our current location, to be able do the first but in general, everything is screwed up. I've seen a couple of places where you can get interesting stuff, useless for other groups, useful here." you explain while you play with a pea. Sherry, at this point, asks if you need to be left alone.

"No, it's fine, end your dinner, sweetheart." he tells her in a gentle tone and then looks at you. "So. Hearing the way you said that, sounds as if you had mmilitary training. Were you from the Army?" he asks genuinely curious but with his normal tone.

"My mum was. She taught me to be the tough person I am nowadays." for the way he looks at you, you understand he wants you to keep talking. "She died a few months ago, along with my brother and I left the group where I was. No hard feelings, no shit, I just couldn't stand to care about someone else... and see them die too." then you see something in his eyes like comprehension, something deep down his soul that he shows up from the heart just a second to compose himself on that intimidating look for whenever he hides his feelings. 'That ain't about the men he lost last night' you think. 'Who have you lost, big bad wolf?'   
  


After the wives leave for the night, you two stay chating about all kinds of things that come to mind. Just as two friends catching up with each others lifes after a long time without seeing eachother. At least that's how one could sre the scene because there is a point where you can tell he's somehow put his guard down with you. Because it's not dificult to know, aside of his comfortable walking around the world like owns it, he's always aware of everything. That at the end of the day, it's exausting. Even with that, you can't fully pity him for what he is and what he means to other people. There's also the fact of how easy he's puting things for you, when you are sure there's other's who have had to claw their way to the top. Or so you've catched on what George said. 

It means he has something in mind for you. Things are never this easy and when they are, there's always something going on. Breaking the silence that's formed after your internal cogitation, you excuse yourself, wanting to get back to your room. He insists on escorting you.

"It's been a pleasure Negan. It was the best meal I had in a long, long time." you say to him when you are just a few steps from your door. "Thank you. Have a nice sleep. I'm sure I will." you give him a little smile, more out of tiredness than gentleness.

"No goodnight kiss?" he questions, when you open your door, putting an arm on the frame with a smile, while you enter backwards facing him.

"I don't think so." you answer, arching an eyebrow while turning to take off your jacket and leave it into a chair.

"What a shame! Maybe tomorrow... Goodnight darlin'" he says, staring at you for a second with a smile before he starts to walk back to the corridor. You stand there, hearing his footsteps as he walks away. It has been an intense day but at least tonight you have one less worry: you aren't going to wake up with a walker chewing your face off. The rest just keps the same. 

  
  
  


It takes you practically seconds to fall asleep once you get inside the covers and your head falls over the fluffy pillow. Your chat with Negan has lasted until the morning for what you have seen in a working clock on the wall and you are very tired already from sleeping wrong during months. When you are alone, time seems to lose its sense. At some point you stop counting, now you can't remember how long you have been alone for real. You think it has to be at least six months for the seasons' change but that ain't precise enough. 

No nightmares this time, no dreams either. Just the whiteness of an empty mind. At least that is the sensation you have before the sound of a knock in the door breaks your status of travelling nowhere and you wake up startled. For a second you panic 'Where the fuck am I !?' as you search for the knives on your belt. Then you remember everything that happened the day before and breath, as you stand to look through the dirty glasses of your window. This new day it's starting to break, you can see it in the faded purple and orange that stain the horizon. You wonder which time it must be, until you remember the clock. Half past six. 'Why!?' you roar internally for whomever it's outside the door.

"What?" you voice out in a dry and moody tone as you open the door.

"Good morning sweetheart... Uuuh... Nice panties." says Negan, who's already resting his forearm on the door frame. You remember now that you took everything off and just left your panties and top on. 'Like he hasn't seen a woman in a swimsuit...' "You ain't wanna go out like that.  _ I guess _ . So hurry up and get dressed, it's time to see what kind of cards you keep on the sleeve." you have already started to dress before he's even ended the sentence. " _ So _ ." he says as he leans with his right side against the door following your every move with his dark eyes. "Today you'll go with Arat. You're gonna check the places you told me yesterday. And that better be good, 'cause I'm coming too." he adds with a grin and some brow raising.

"I thought the king would be too busy doing…" you roll your wrist while looking away as if you are thinking. "Whatever kings do…" you conclude looking at him. " _ If they do anything at all. _ " you add in a lower tone as you turn around to pick up your backpack from the closet.

"You think you're funny, uh?" he says faking offence, when you turn around his smile tells you he did find that funny. 

"You look like you had a good fu--sleep last night."  _ 'He's not your friend. His private life has nothing to do with you.' _ you think, while you end up tying your boots. To your surprise there's no inmediate response or a joke and when you look at him, he seems to be trying to descipher you as if you were talking another language. 

"Are you... jealous?" he asks you, as if having a lot of fun with the question. You know he is joking but you roll your eyes. "The candy shop is open for you too, darling. You just have to ask for your favourite sweet." he adds that bouncy gesture of him as a sexual insinuation.

"Jealousy is for insecure people or those who see a cheating bastard on their couple or cheat themselves... Besides... I should feel or have something for/with you for that to be even possible. So, no. I'm sorry for your ego but the answer is no." you answer, as you walk to the door expecting him to move aside to let you pass but instead he walks towards you. "I don't want sweets either. You can get decaying tooth."  _ 'I can be metaphoric too, you know?' _ you add for yourself.

"I know you're growing on me. Since the moment we met.." he tells you, with a hot voice that runs chills down your spine.  _ 'What if I do? It doesn't mean anything is gonna happen.' _ you say to yourself. He gets so close, his mouth is almost on top of yours. "Besides... We do have something." that thought gets lost in your mind when you feel his breath in your mouth and kiss him letting passion do its own.

You put your hands around his nape between his deliciously warm skin and his leather jacket. Your lips smoothly caress his and you feel the wetness at the centre, inviting the caress from the tip of your tongue before you deepen the kiss. Then you stop for a second, without letting him go, just to take between yours his lower lip. Just after a second you're back to attach your mouths again. Meanwhile he grabs you by the thighs to put himself between your legs, then moves to press your back against the wall. But when he puts his hand uner your top where it meets the hip something switches off inside your head.

"Ok.ok.ok. You proved a point here." You say, breathless putting your mouth away. To that, he lets you down softly.

"I'm not sure about that. I think I could keep with this all day long... Just to make sure you get it." he says without moving, proudly looking at you from above, with a mischievous smile.

"I don't think that's gonna happen." then you remember that's what you said last night.  _ 'Be more true to your word if you want to be taken seriously.' _ "What I mean is, stop playing with me. I don't want this mess. Just be with your wives and leave me out of it." Just as soon as you say that you leave your room like chased by the devil. 

Minutes after you ask the first Saviour you find on the hallways where to go find Arat because all corridors are so similar you are not even sure where you are anymore, you find her near a truck. Negan is already there, bouncing and giving orthers while some jump on trucks and head out. As soon as you reach Arat, Negan gives you two a map and instructions, acting as if you are just any other Saviour. Exactly what you want, eventhough you still have the taste of his mouth in yours and it's driving you insane. 

It's been too long in abstinence and he's like the red juicy apple for Eve.

You and Arat are meant go at the vanguard of the comboy, just behind Negan's truck. There are another four trucks that will take other routes with him, to be able to check other spots near the one that's been choosen for you, the abandoned school, to try and find out if there's anything interesting. When everything started, the schools were used as camps for the special forces because of the open spaces and many classrooms. So there could be something left.

But you don't seem that lucky, you expected to find a good load of guns but it seems that the army left just a few man here. As far as you can see, they were attacked by walkers while they were trying to move the few survivors to the military helicopter. You two start clearing out the outside from the last walkers wondering around and decide to leave the inside of the building for later, in case a herd decides to appear and you lose the chance to pick up the stuff that's waiting outside for whoever wants to take it.

You start checking the place for any weapons left on the floor and any car that might still be useful.

"This one is fine." you say to Arat after checking a four-wheel's engine but after looking for the keys in every place inside the car, they're just not there. "It needs a bridge, the keys are nowhere to be seen." you tell her, then notice she isn't near anymore, searching for her you see she's putting a couple of assault rifles and some munition inside the cab of your truck while she keeps an eye on where you are.

Then, both of you walk to a unit for medical supplies in sinc, you open the door like the SWAT would do and a walker comes out after a few seconds, falling through the stairs. Just to find himself stubbed with a throwing knife. You two enter and check if there are no other walkers inside. The place is clear and kind of clean, just little stripes of skin are stuck to any sharp edge as if the walker has been moving around the room atracted by something that's been outside.

"Pick up three plastic boxes." orders you Arat, so you walk outside directly to the van.

"Kyle, do you see anything?" you ask through the radio to one of the Saviors whose mision is to look after you and Arat from a highway road next to where you are. He's using a sniper to see more acuratedly whatever thing moves around the camp.

"Two lost souls, no horde. I see many walkers through the windows of the building. Be safe." says the man cutting the communications.

When you two have put the medical supplies inside the towing of the truck, you two decide it's time to check inside the building. You two stay in front of the door for a few seconds before pushing the entrance door open. The hallway is clear all the way along the school as you move around to take the fire extinguishers and other supplies that were left next to the walls. Mainly boxes with basic camp supplies suck as: torches, bateries, pillows, blankets,disposable medical outfits and masks that you two put on a metallic trouley siting next to an expositor with yearbooks and thropyes, to take everything to the truck. Arat has moved it in front of the building to ease the work. 

Once you've emptied the corridors, you two move room by room from the entrance to the back doors. The library is full of books but there's only one body siting at the study tables with a shot in the head and a hand gun still held by his unanimated fingers. You guess it was someone who really liked books. Taking the gun and checking there's still bullets in it you place it on your backpack. After that you check inside the librarian's desk and find a gold hand watch and a botle of Nina Richy perfume. You place them on your back pack too. Then you notiffy about the books, on the next channel, to the scavange party that's with Negan. The man on the line says they'll pick it all later. Somehow you expected Negan to answer but you shake yourself out of the thought.  _ 'That can only end wrong. Stop thinking about it.' _

You meet Arat at the entrance as she walks with a box towards the truck. There you take the watch out of the backpack and place it between the sheets inside of it and take one with you to go back inside the library, to cover the body with it.

"Why am I not surprised?" says Arat leaning on the door frame. "Don't bother, he's going to be left outside. We don't waste time burying people." you are not surprised because it would be a task that never ends if you buried every single dead body you found. But you still leave the body covered before following her. 

As you open the science classroom a huge undead comes out to try an eat your fresh flesh and you stab him on the cerebellum through the jaw with your hunting knife. But before you are even able to open the lab cabinets, you hear Arat's footsteps approaching to you.

"What are you doing here?" she asks, as if you are wasting time. 

"We need to pack this stuff, it can be useful for someone who knows how to use it." Arat raises her shoulders in response.

"Fine. But leave it for later, let's keep going. I've found the rest of the supplies on the gym but there's some dead-not-so-dead there." she says. You take your throwing knives from your belt and nod. You two walk the hallway side by side and push the door open with oposite feet. Then she kills the first walker with her hunting knife and you throw your knives putting three others out of their misery. And as she kills another one from further away before it even has time to come her way, you kill the last one on the left. "Good job." she congratulates you as you move to pull off your throwing knives from putrid skulls. 

"Thank you." you nod as you clean them with a rug hanging from the edge of a bed. There you notice a couple of bodies between the lined up liters, shot in the head. When you look around there's more. Placed exactly like that. What you hate the most about it, is that it doesn't shake you. Something that would have kept you awake at night almost three years ago, doesn't afect you that much anymore. You've stopped trying to see the person behind the corpse in order to keep your sanity but they were people and this ones were shot before turning. 

"At least they didn't suffer." tells you, Arat from behind as she picks up a box.

"But why would they do this if they had supplies?" you wonder. She stops for a second and looks around, then towards the supplies. 

"You saw what happened with the helicopter, maybe there were to many of those things around and they thought it was the best they could do." she says as she places a box in your hand. "The ones we've killed just now, they weren't shot. So they didn't have enough bullets to defend themselves and there was definitely not enough food to feed this many people." 

"They thought they would starve to death because of the walkers and decided to end it before that." some bodies are chewed by the ones that died in another ways. "The ones we've found on the other classroms were locked from the inside…" you tell her as you two walk down the hallway. You can only imagine why. "We should park the truck next to the emergency door, we'll go faster. I'll go pack the lab stuff and I'll take it to the gym." 

While she maneuvers you manage to open the show cases and fit a first cardboard box full of test tubes and other glass materials. You decide to leave the chemicals for later and run to pick up the trouley from the entrance to place the boxes in it and go to the gym. While Arat places some supply boxes filled with dry food and other survival supplies, you place your boxes in the place behind your seats. Pulling up the folding bed to be able to place them next to each other and avoid piling them up. Then you jump out to help her with the boxes and a defibrillator that was in the gym instead of the medical unit, for some reason. 

When everything is on the back of the truck you two take a walk around the playground, on the back of the building, directed to where the four-wheel is so you can drive it to find the rest of your group. That's when you find what you didn't think you would find, a flamethrower. Without thinking twice about it but knowing you should have, you point to the school bus which is already a little bit tati and shoot against it.  _ 'I might never get another chance…' _ you think while a smile apears in your face.

"Did someone hate school?" you hear Negan on a burst of laughter through your radio and in a couple of seconds Arat appears. "I wouldn't have guessed this would happen today. Now, I know you're having fun,  _ buut _ , stop playing with that shit. _ I want it _ ." he says the last bit in a sort of stark, authoritative tone that reminds you which position he holds above you all.

You don't answer to the radio but roll your eyes as Arat gets down the cabin and walks towards you, along with the radio on her hand and a cheeky smile. Then, when you start to walk her way, you hear a weird noise, like metal cracking and you two get to the floor as an explosion hits behind you.

"Are you psychotic!?" asks Arat, not smiling anymore, still on the floor above the noise of flames and metallic parts falling around.

"What the hell did just happen!?" you ask with your eyes wide open. Really confused, thinking you're being attacked before you realize what you've just done.

"You did it, you silly bitch!" she says laughing from the dephts of her lungs. "What are you surprised about!?"

When you look behind, the bus you've just burned it's all messed up in pieces around the place. You two have been lucky to not get badly hurt or winded up dead by the shrapnel. You just have a few cuts, the same as Arat.

"Was that supposed to happen!?" you ask even more surprised now that you understand the mess you've just made. She raises her arms like  _ 'Maybe?' _ It's not like your mother ever talked about how cars explode or anything, and you thought Hollywood exaggerated things way too much. Maybe she didn't think you would ever burn one or Hollywood wasn't so bad after all.

"Are you guys ok!?" you hear Negan on the other side of the radio.

"We are heading in your direction, are you under attack?" says Dwight, getting on the frequency. You hear the sound of their engines at the distance.

"Negative. I just bombed a school bus!" you say, starting to laugh. "Oh my God! That was fun…" you say as you keep laughing.

"How old are you? Ten?" says Dwight, trying to sound serious but you can sense on his tone he's actually find it funny. "Be careful that sure called the attention of the walkers." he warns, cautiously.

"Don't be such a pussy Dwight! You think I'll let the ladies be eaten like a velvet pie by those tasteless pile of shits?" says Negan from the radio. "Not on my watch." he adds with no repply from Dwight. Not that he expected one, of course. "Coast's clear, ladies. Pack whatever you found and get hell out of there 'cause we can't see shit through the woods."

"Yes, sir." you hear Arat answer dutifully through her radio. "Seems like we are done here." she tells you while turning towards the truck.

You put the flamethrower with the rest of the stuff at the trunk and make sure everything is safe inside for the journey. Then you head to the road following her with the car, you see through the mirrors that there are some walkers arriving at the place.  _ 'What counts is not the amount, is their position and they are coming from everywhere.' _

"Negan, you see that?" you say throwgh your radio.

"Hm… Yeah. It might be risky just for some books." he says. "Boys, turn around, we'll pick the readin' if we drive by. Another day." he orders. 

  
  


When you two meet with the rest of the convoy, you find a shady Negan staring at you as if he's going to fall over you like a lion. Instead, he just checks what's on the back of the vehicle to have an overview of everything.

"Well done! That's a good load!" he says with a smile that doesn't fool you or anyone who knows him. The tension on his voice says otherwise, you are unsure if he's even trying to hide that fact. When he gets near his car, you realise that he's having the courtsy to wait for you two to be alone to say whatever he has to say. For what you've picked up from Arat, Negan's very public abour  _ everything _ . So it has to be bad. "Alice you'll drive with me. I think we have to discuss some of the rules again." Just like that, without giving an option, he jumps inside his car and puts the engine on.

You hop in and wait for some shouting and blaming but he remains silent for a bit while  _ Come as you are _ from Nirvana sounds on the music player.

"What in the fucking fuck where you thinking!?" he says all the sudden, while looking at you sideways. "I'm good at reading people and I don't fucking think you are one of those kamikaze shit-fucks who don't give a fuck about dying or getting someone else dead. SO. Tell me, are you nuts!? 'cause I would like to know before I put someone at fucking risk because of a sudden  _ fantastic _ idea you might have…"

"Don't be an asshole! I might seem nuts to you but I didn't know that was going to exploit like a fucking balloon!" you say rolling your eyes turning your body towards his.  _ 'Well, I kind of knew. But I thought it wasn't like it looks in films.' _ To that, he calmly pulls the car at the side of the road and with his arm out of the window gestures for rest of the trucks to keep on their way.

"Ok, then you are just a reckless lady." he says, looking at you as he keeps gesturing. "You are out of the mission. No Saviours for you. I'll find you something to do inside. If that ain't enough, I can be a lot more of an asshole, just try me." he says looking at you directly resting his elbow on the top of the headrest. 

"Hm, I think that's unbeatable. I think I'll pass, thank you." you say sarcastically, looking at the front quite angry. It takes you a minute to cool down a little and notice that he's right to be angry. You look at him again, only to see he is giving you the 'no shit' look. "Oh, 'cmon. I thought you had a sense of humour." you say with a tone still stained with sarcasm. He arches a brow, still not smiling.

Then he moves the arm to put it around your shoulders and puts two fingers down your chin invading your personal space with his body as he moves. Then he kisses you, somehow needy. You just melt as it turns deeper and sensual, starting to make the tension move lower in your body. Then you start to feel the need to get on top of him but instead, you hold yourself and try to keep up with his kiss.  _ 'He is such a good kisser…' _ his tongue slides between your teeth and that just makes your control switch off and you pull him by the jacket cutting the space between your bodies. At the very moment you are about to move on top of him, you hear the growl of a walker as it gets near your side of the car and you stop kissing him.

" 'Cmon baby don't run away again." he says, with a heated up tone, almost sweetly, a little bit frustrated. You look at him again and this time it's you who kisses him with your hands at the sides of his face.

"I'm not doing this here with a half-rotted undead dude trying to get into the car to eat our asses off. Simply not my kink." With that, you free yourself from his hold and put yourself comfy on the seat. "By the way, you better not look me down like another one of your birds or be sure there will never be another kiss for you from this lips. Just bites and blood." you warn him, meeting his eyes directly. To your surprise, he doesn't say a thing, instead, he chuckles and starts the car again. 

When Negan pulls in at Sanctuary and you jump out the car, you hear what Simon explains to Negan. There's a place named Alexandria, where the people that killed the Saviours on the outpost live. Then they laugh about Gregori and Negan gives order to a group to go find those people the next day.

You take the chance to run away and go to the showers. It's not as if he will not know where you are if he wants to, you are aware of that. Even with that you need to get away from him.  _ 'Don't let him play you around. You are stronger than that.' _ you think.  _ 'It will be just for fun, no emotions implicated'  _ speaks your demon, very convincingly.

You get into the cubicle and open the water tap, the water runs warm just a few seconds later. It falls over your body taking with it the dirt and sweat from your work with Arat. You wonder why you are letting yourself get so carried away with him. You don't even know him. Some of his character traits can be analyzed by his behaviour but you can't really know how he is without being too involved. He does not have friends, only subjects and that's exactly the way he treats them.  _ 'How could I ever get to know who he really is?' _

Most guys who need to exercise control above everyone around them are usually abusers at one level or another. Negan doesn't seem like an insecure person but from his wives behaviour it seems obvious that there's something wrong going on. As a rule you are never an exception to the rule, if they do it to another person they will do it to you, no exceptions.

Abusers do nice things to compensate their unacceptable behavior but they'll always do it again. Always. Things always escalate from simple jealousy to ask too many explanations then make accusations without rhyme or reason, to something worst. They might not hit you but if you are scared to go out or be yourself to avoid his anger, that's a red flag signaling an abusive relationship. The wives behaviour is a red flag and the smart choice would be to run away. Instead, you decide to overanalyze things. 

Negan looks like the kind of guy who knows where his place in the world is. Self-confident. But this kind of things are usually the ones that get girls and woman confused, what he does is what matters. How he treats you and the people that surround him, not what he says or what he tries to scheme. Mistreatment of any kind it's just unacceptable. Your partner has to help you grow, make you feel good about yourself, not miserable. 

Everybody can have a bad day but that can't be something that happens constantly. The only partner acceptable is the one that loves and respects you with your rights and wrongs. Otherwise, you are better alone. 

You understand Negan uses power to control people and also violence to punish those who don't follow the rules. It's an acceptable measure in extreme times like this but still unacceptable if he overpowers his wives to make them do what he wants.

With those reflexive thoughts, keeping that in mind, you decide to take the risk and get to know him deeply. If he dares to hurt you in any way, you will end him up yourself, with your own hands.

You come out of the shower all built up in your decision, then get dried with your towel and dressed in the same clothes you wore the first day you came here. Clothes ain't so difficult to scavenge but someone's bothered to wash them and leave them folded over your bed. Thing that you appreciate since this set is, without any doubt, very comfortable. You finally put on your new boots. When you go out, there's no one in front of the bathroom but still, you walk to your room with stealth. You come across Sherry who seems to go around as careful as you do. For good or bad, you think maybe that's a sign from the cosmos to ask her some things.

"Sherry, can I talk to you?" she gives you a fishy look, as if she thinks you're untrustworthy. "Please." you put your hands together pleading her to talk to you.

"Sure, follow me." she says and, with an 'I'm not sure of this' look in her eyes, leads you to some back stairs that don't seem very busy. "Go ahead."

"It's about Negan. I need to know how he is." first, she seems troubled, then she looks around worriedly. "It's just that I need to know what happens when there's no one around." she seems confused at first but then her eyes turn a little more soft and you read sadness in them. Suddenly you feel disappointed about Negan as if you expected something better. "Not talking about sexual life. I mean, how is he with you when there's no one around or when there's just the wives with him?" you clarify, in case she's taken the question as you lusting over her husband.

"He doesn't hit us if that's what you're asking." she says leaning on the wall behind her but looking at the ceiling. "But he has terrible ways to make you do what he wants." you look at her horrified and your stomach curls. "Well, I don't mean in a sexual way... He's against rape as you might know already and he gives us protection. He's a gentleman in that way but we're with him because that's all we could do or we had no other option." she explains to you her case when Tina, her sister said she would think about Negan's marriage proposal but they tried to escape, how Tina died and she had to marry Negan to save Dwight's life. 

"So you two... Shit... That sucs..." you mutter. She just gives you a nod and you don't want to bring her down with memories. 

"In one or another way, he always gets what he wants. If you give him what he wants you'll make it easier on yourself, believe me." you are somehow furious and you want to face him, even though you know it wouldn't be a smart move.  _ 'How can he be such a bastard to make people abdicate their will like that. He's a fucking dictator. I already knew that but he's definitely not a clean-handed one...' _ He has a full army with him so, it wouldn't be very smart to threaten him phisically to leave you alone. You are not getting out of this place, now you know for sure. It would be smart to make your best with the situation.

"Ok, thank you for your time." you say, sternly.

"I'm sorry if I broke your fairy tail." she says genuinely, making you think that she thought you might be falling in love with Negan. 'If they think that maybe Negan does too.' you think. 'That could be an advantage.' You don't say anything to her to make her think otherwise, instead you part walking back to the corridor. Before the door gets closed behind, you hear the sound of a lighter. 

You take your time, caressing the walls with the tip of your fingers. When you enter your room it catches you off guard that Negan's there, sitting on your bed with his left ankle on top of his right thigh and dropping the weight of his torso on his arms, a little backwards, on the sides of his body. Lucille's resting on his lap.

"What are you doing here?" you ask him, in an annoyed tone sounding a little bit more pert than you meant to. "It's wrong to invade other people's privacy, you know?"

"The last time I checked, this was my fucking building and the questions were asked by me. Have we changed the roles? Because fuck, I had no fucking clue." he says narrowing his eyes as a way to intimidate you but when he sees that you don't change your expression, he looks at you like: 'What's wrong with you?'. Maybe he's being genuinely himself but he definitely hits a nerve. ' _ I can't just act like I'm dumb and let him get away with everything.' _

"I'll just tell you this once: I'm not below you, more than an employee for its boss. And with this, I mean that I respect you and you respect me. Understood?" you say before he opens his mouth, without any kind of fear.

"What a nerve! How dare you?" he replies, with a rough chuckle. It seems to you as if you have pointed something obvious for him. You expected another kind of reaction but for some reason, he hasn't considered your claim a problem. Maybe it's because you are alone. You get that's your only advantage over all these people. "As I tried to make you understand, I have my tactics to make people do what I want but my only intention with that is to create a chain and order. Not to abuse my position of power." Liar. "When people follow the rules everything is fine, they produce and receive points for it but I don't intend to dominate what they do with the rest of their free time in certain terms. The same goes for you. There's also  _ the fact _ , that I have my fucking tickling towards you, I think I've been pretty clear on that. But you are not bound to anything, sweetheart. Everyone has a choice, even if they take dumb ones."  _ 'Do we? Do you even know how untrue that is?' _ That's just a bunch of lies but he really seems to believe his words so much, if you didn't have eyes, you would believe him. It pisses you off.

"Till when?" you ask, frowning. You are so furious that you let your tongue loose. If he wants you around, he's gonna get what that means. "Until you get fed up and decide that there is something you can hurt me with to convince me?" Sherry told you that's how he got three of the wives and you're definitely not accepting that. "I don't have a family, so you have nothing to grab me by the balls with. For now. Should I keep an eye on not making friends, so I don't make them a target of your anger when I don't do what you want?"

"Watch that tone." he warns, suddenly serious and sitting rigid on the bed, staring at you with a 'Be careful.' written in the eyes.

"What if I don't Negan, you gonna kill me?" you say planted face, letting your hunger for balance and justice get the best of you. "Come on, do it, who the hell cares? Show me what you got." He looks at you furiously and stands up to come to you but in a second, you see him leave Lucille on the bed. He approaches you quickly and without warning, he raises you by the thighs kissing you. His lips own yours hungrily and makes a way for his tongue to invade your mouth while leaning you against the wall. His taste raises your skin in goosebumps and suddenly you forget that you're angry. His mouth descends to your neck and you lose the north. You only feel that pressure coming down your stomach to the innermost part of your being but it is his hands moving towards your butt that shoot something inside your head and there's no turning back.

You slide your right hand behind his neck from inside the jacket while your left-hand goes down between you two to find the end of his white shirt. You put your hand underneath and find yourself in direct contact with his skin. His healthy torso tightens and relaxes with the movements of his breathing, his hot and masculine skin feels so smooth on your fingers.

You feel him hardening like a rock right in your centre and you totally lose the relaxed rhythm of your breath when he breaks the last distance between you two. You gently bite his lower lip, pulling it towards your mouth and intensifying the kiss. You feel like a drug addict about to receive your dose, except that this time it's high-quality.

You nail your fingertips on his abdomen gently, wishing to leave a mark on his skin as you lower to the button of his pants, while you keep kissing him. You begin to introduce the tips of your fingers between his skin and his underpants.

"You see I wasn't kidding, huh?" he says, confidently half-laughing in your mouth but making space between you so you can manoeuvre.

"Shut up…" you reply, stopping your hand from going further. You put your hands on his jaw and your lips find his, parted tonge sneaking inside his mouth to caress his with the tip, inviting a dance. His tongue twirls around yours dominating. He can't avoid to grunt, as your hips push into his lap, in pleasure.

He takes you to the bed in a fast movement, taking Lucille out of the way in a second but leaving her carefully standing against the bedside table. Then he lies you down, like a fragile piece of crystal, appreciative in the lines that form your body, focusing on the ones at direct sight, the way your top hughs the sensual curve of your breasts. As his eyes grow in lust with his head working on what he wants to do to you, he takes off his jacket placing it on the armchair in front of the TV unit.

As he walks back to you he stops for a second staring at the image of you leaning on your elbows to look at his every move, studying the frame of his body, the straight secure, yet relaxed, posture of his back. The way his white t-shirt hugs the width of his shoulders and gets a little bit loose at the end, insinuating an easily accommodating hips size, as tall and broad as he is. When your eyes set slightly on his bulge his smile widens, proudly, but your eyes move to his feet as he pushes with the tip toes his boots off his feet triggering you to do the same, with your eyes still set on each other.

"Wait." you ask, before getting out of bed, as he curiously follows your every move with his eyes. You press the botton on the door knobb locking it with a click and turn on the music player seating on top of a bookshelve next to it, loud enough to cover up the sounds Negan might elict on you but not so loud to bother anyone. "Come down to the black sea swimming with me ah-ooh uuh." you sing with it before you turn around walking to him, surrounding him in order to hug him from behind and kiss his back before gently grab his hand to lead him to  _ your _ bed.

You both move synchronized escalating from the foot of the bed to reach the pillows, moving backwards as he crowls it slightly on top of you, almost to the rhythm of the music. He fits himself between your legs, pulling your hips towards him while claiming back your neck. You gasp when you feel one of his masculine hands climb up your side to get under your shirt raising up goosebumps under his phalanges. After this point, you know this is going to, at least, worth its while. _'Negan's_ _hot like the damn sun.'_

Something visceral crowling inside of you takes over you concience and you practically wrestle him under you, pulling him down using your hips and legs. All of it to get rid of the white tee obstructin your vision, tosing it aside landing elsewhere, finally able to see his chest and abdomen covered in a decent amount of rully black hair until it hides under his pants. The perfect amount on the perfect body.  _ 'Shaved six-pack youngsters are hardly overrated.' _ your mind defines. Your red top slides through your body, slowly, as your hips roll over his hardness to feel him through his pants to the rhythm of the music. Making it all feel more like a strip tease. A little groan escapes his throat.

Your mouth attacks his neck with lovebites but you don't fix in there your target. Going down his chest, through his abdomen you trail soft and poisonous kisses full of desire. That is until your chin meets the edge of his trousers, there your upper body lifts up to observe him; crossed arms behind his head letting you do as you please while enjoying the view. Your fingers trail the form of his member caged inside those tight black pants and his breath halts, your hips settle over his just to see him react to you moving them as you slowly unboton an unzip his pants. His hands grope your waist in a tight hold before you stop moving them, then one hand moves to undo you too as the other keeps you in place. 

"In case you change your mind and go running, this is the moment to stop it. Please don't play." he says and you feel a point of wary and frustration in his tone, in a trance of sarcasm. He wants you so bad he's put his guard down just long enough for you to hear that out.  _ 'I'm far away from running, big bad wolf…' _ Then he raises his thundering torso and your noses rub against each other.

"Oh! Turns out you can ask things nicely…" you fake surprise. "It will turn out that you are a charmer, after all…" you say in fake sarcasm before your nose plays a segond with his in a slight touch and your lips meet his, tenderly biting on the lower with a slight smile, as he grunts a little for the change.  _ 'Fuck. Shit!'. _ You squeeze your eyes.  _ 'This bastard is gonna make you fall for him!' _

"Everything ok, babe?" he asks with a sort of worried look.

Just nodding to kiss him back again, you think that whatever is starting to grow inside of you for him will die as soon as he gets his bad ways with someone in front of you. Deciding not to worry, as you predict it won't take long, knowing that the fear transpiring all over Sanctuary isn't due to a one-time-crazy-shit but too many. 

Getting on your feet at the edge of the bed, pulling his trausers off his long legs.  _ 'Hell if I don't love his body and his tallness already…' _ your inner demon decides, much to your desmai. As you tos them aside too in a mess, Negan's already siting at the edge of the bed kissing your belly, he slides the fake leather covering your legs down your ankles as he bites your hip bone making you shiver. You take a seat over his hips feeling his warm and full form, now that there are no much clothes left between you. He's thick and his size matches his body.

"Do you have condoms?" you ask him, knowing this is the right moment to ask before you get into it. Knowing if there's not you're just not going to do it.  _ 'I should have asked beforehand…' _

"Of course, darling." he reaches his pants on the floor at his right side and takes out a couple of condoms from a pocket.  _ 'Great! He actually came here with the intention to get in your pants.' _ Somehow, valuing the situation, the idea makes you frown.  _ 'Well, who's to blame you for giving up to urges at the end of the world. You could as well be dead tomorrow. Although with Negan it does seem unlikely.' _

"Well, honey as you may know I'm married like fucking lots of times." he responds to what's expressing in your face. "Not all married man take fucking care of this stuff as they should. Fucking pricks. But if you're gonna cheat, at list don't bring a fucking disease to your partner or get your lover pregnant. You don't need to be too smart for the 'better be safe than sorry' shit." you understand his point and find it something to agree with. You rub him with your lower body parts to get him all back in the game although his steel hasn't ceased.  _ 'Hell does he ever relax?' _ . His body is slightly tense too, you put pressure on his shoulders while you keep moving.

It has it's effect and you are soon under him as he takes your panties off.  _ 'I guess we are done talking.' _ you think, right before he lures on a moan by attacking your neck, going down your body mercilessly. His teeth meet spots in your body that make your lower body tense, just as if he knew where to bite and kiss. Then again, he's exploring it to an inch getting to discover those little secrets that will make you ready for him. 

Your arousal was quickly set after who knows how much time without being touched like that but at this point you are raging needy. He must have read it on you because he gets rid of his boxers as he meets your eyes, pulling the condom open and down his length in no time.  _ 'He knows what he's doing, damn if he ain't hot as hell!"  _

His tip meets your entrance without setting eyes apart, attentive to any sign of discomfort, as he slides inside slowly with effort you notice you didn't quite size him up correctly and the lack of sex has made you tighter. The pressure of your walls traps him inch by inch in his advance but it's a pleasant one, because you can learn him. Both of you seem to have forgot how to breath when his length is fully inside of you but he doesn't move, to your surprise. He seems perplexed somehow, it doesn't seem to you like it has to do with your down there but something that is on his mind.

"Did I leave you drained of energy already?" you say in a mocking-like tone. "You should do more cardio Negan or you will die here-"

He cuts off your prattle cuting of your breath with a quick out and in, with a smirk of victory, then his face relaxes as he moves slowly studding your face. _'He's trying to see if he's hitting the spot.'_ your mind babbles. He moves his hips with experience, aiming the right angle while grabbing your left thigh to hold you in place, making you feel in heaven. His mouth meets your neck when you let your head fall backwards with your chin up. "Negan…" you whisper.

"M'Right here, babe…" he hispers against your neck. Your only answer are quiet moans you can feel elict goosebups under your diggits at his back. His mouth meets yours between airy breaths as his pace accelerates, feeling his thickness hit just the right way. 

"Oh my God…" your breath hitches as his precise movements build up an orgasm.

"I know darlin'..." he mutters in your ear as his pace increeses, speeding up to your limit until you explode. Faster than you ever have, meaner, as your nails trail a sharp way down his back making him growl deep.


	3. The road

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter with one day of delay... I'm sorry. I really hope you guys like it and it all makes sense. ❤

You spend most of your days out, scavenging with any group that leaves Sanctuary. What's out is your world, where you know how to move, how to  _ play _ . It's almost like you are trying to avoid reality, avoiding the view of what's going on in the lower floors of the building. Making a blind eye to the Saviours abuses towards people. As if you actually could avoid seeing through the corner of an eye, how it gets perpetrated.

Negan has to agree with that when it's something so common, there's no way he doesn't see or know it. Your thoughts and actions twist to center into winning him, the big bad wolf's trust. Without that, there's nothing you can do for these people. Or his wives. 

Most of your productive working time is around him, as if he wanted to be glued to you. He will ask your opinion in random things, that sometimes are important decisions that require some knowledge. It reminds you of when you were your mum's right hand and she would let you take them to evaluate your qualities as a possible successor. On his own words: he values your opinion as much as Simon's or any other high ranks, admitting it comes from your stay outside by yourself. He says it blows his mind that you've managed to survive on your own, remarking it has nothing to do with you being a woman.

It surprises him so much he asks a couple of times if it was really six months because that's a lot of time to be on your own. The first time, you talk about the scars in your body, where they come from, who or what caused them. Although you tell him there's a few you can't recall. You know there's one he hasn't seen and that's the only one you avoid talking about.

The second time, it's more like asking for a reminder and when he asks about your group, you just don't feel good talking about it, so you don't. Surprisingly he doesn't push it further. At first, you think his appreciation beside your pretty face is touching, at this point you would have expected him to be trying to push you into marrying him like he's done with his golden caged birds. But on a second thought, you figure out he's interested in working out how your mind functions, for easier control, you guess, which kind of pisses you off. But, he's your boss, your leader, and you can't do much about what he thinks is right or wrong, yet. 

Inside Sanctuary you feel the odd air coming from that many people living together, like a bee's nest just less likely because the ones protecting the working bees are also their bullies. 

Being with people after so much time alone doesn't seem to be your forté but being alone again is too fucked up to consider it an option. The world has become a deadly dangerous place with all those non-dead walking around and trying to chew you off. Although the survivors can be even worse. 

Here the rules matter, which seems to be engraved with fire in these people's minds. Negan keeps people alive in a system that's tough but works. Kind of. It all reminds you of those documentaries you used to watch on the TV about modern slavery in china and countries that made it sound to far to even suggest it could happen in yours but here you are, observant of those images in the very place you live, just a few feet from you. 

Leaving that aside, you can admit freely, it has been partly luck what's kept you alive. Like it is with anyone else, really, because anything can kill you these days. That along with your skills to avoid people, if you're honest, are probably a big part in the equation. 

You'd say your aiming is your best quality and it's probably the best skill one needs to protect itself and hunt with or without guns. You are also very fast but when it comes to the rest of your skills you'd say you are just about average, incomparable to your mum who was awesome in everything she did. 

You tried to learn everything you could from her but she was exceptional. Losing her and your brother at the same time, destabilized your whole world and vision of it. That's why you left your group and wondered around aimlessly. You couldn't see things so clear anymore, not that you can see them much better right now.

When you found yourself lonely and noticed that was going to be the rest of your life, some sort of mad need for socialization took over you but boy, the things you see on the road. Soon you understood it wasn't safe anymore to "apply" for another group's membership. Then you had to make peace somehow with your new reality, going back to your group just wasn't an option because you didn't find them where they were supposed to be. Probably they had waited enough and thought you weren't going to go back or that you were dead already. You never blamed them. It was probably for the best. Or on the opposite,  _ they are all dead _ .

That was until the mall happened. 

It did not seem a bad option after taking your security measures. You even unblocked the back doors as a safe passage if another group crossed you. But you trusted too much in your own luck going to the first floor. In big places, the rules were to enter, pick up the goods as fast as you could and leave. At least, while being alone. 

Now, even with a short group of four, you felt kind of safe. Well, almost completely safe. Becoming a Saviour does have an effect on one's ego, it actually makes people feel like they are on top of the world. Almost invincible. As if the walkers were just a minimum problem, a day after day thing but even with that sensation building up in one's chest, nobody puts their guard down. It would be really stupid.

"Do Saviours get bit often?" You ask John, one of the guys in your group. Even if his name is also your brother's, they are nothing alike.

"Nah... It doesn't happen a lot. You worried?" he asks you, without stopping what he is doing. You mutter a simple "Not really." and he smirks.

Your group is out of the safe zone, looking for supplies or anything interesting. Maybe a well-positioned building for another outpost or another group to  _ discipline _ for Negan. He did not want you on the search parties for the "problematic community" that had been running for the last week and a half.  _ "New arrivals don't get those privileges, pretty face." _ he said to you in front of your group of newcomers, when you asked. 

You thank that at least you are not the only fresh blood in the nest. Having all eyes set on you, people expecting things, good or bad, maybe both, sucks. In fact, even if the other Saviours found them and there was a plan going on, your group was not on the first line or in it at all. You were told that almost every Saviour was going to be at the "final show" but Negan still didn't trust you enough to put you in certain positions outside. 

_ 'Maybe he did take your mistake with the flamethrower seriously' _ you think at some point.  _ 'Dude, get over it, get that stick out your ass.' _ you thought when Negan said: "You will stick to the basics, until I know for sure you won't do the shot that makes the chicken run away". Knowing already that you should have kept your subjective opinions for yourself, you start biting your tongue a little more being around him, just in case.

  
  


It all becomes routine, or sort off, as new days go by. You wake up before the clock in the mornings and take a shower in the commons, chit chatting with Arat and Norma as you brush your teeth. There's other women around but these two are kind of the ones with whom you get along better. 

One morning, Arat praised your work and said you'll go up quickly if you keep working hard and giving those useful aportations. One of the girls in the showers jokes about it being easier when you bend the knees privately for Negan, a few laughs follow the statement, to which you spit the paste and calmly leave the toothbrush on the counter. Walking towards the shower, you hear Arat muter an  _ "oh-uh"  _ although she doesn't stop you. Opening the curtain of who you know has said it, you grab her by the hair and bang her head against the wall, breaking her nose, then let her slide down the wall while moaning in pain. 

"For people like you, men treat women like shit." you say before spitting on her. Then Arat makes presence next to you and puts a hand on your shoulder to turn you around. 

"She's learned her lesson." she mutters. "You won't say a word about this. Keep your mouth shut next time you feel like offending another woman for being better than you." she tells the one bleeding.

"I wasn't going to hit her again." you actually don't feel right about it. You've just lost your temper too easily for your own liking, lillving aside hers is a kind of attitude you despise. 'Sometimes people need to learn the hard way' you tell yourself. 

The incident does not leave that bathroom, although there's been a lot of witnesses.

At lunch time, you sit with Arat to eat some sort of spaghetti bolognese with meatballs in her apartment with Norma and Donna, another Saviour who is seemingly in a kind of relationship with Arat, when a knock on the door calls your attention. A low rank Saviour, just like you, opens it when given permission and informs they have the Alexandrians under radar. Negan is claiming Arat for planning and the three of you are left to eat alone. 

That same afternoon, while you are looking at the maps in your room memorizing the future attack, Negan's plan over the Alexandrians starts to roll because a bunch of them are leaving the community in an RV. It's an ambush, prepared like any other but it has coincided with someone running off from Sanctuary and a search party was already there. The outposts near were fast to move and play their part, following the previous preparations. 

The plan is divided by phases. First step: you all had to wait until one of the lookouts that are surrounding Alexandria gave the intel on a number leaving the fortress. Second step: block the roads and get them to surrender. This part is already done.

There are two options after that: One; they will come out, in which case someone will have to bring their leader or you will go find him and put them all in their place. Someone has to die, "unavoidably" according to Negan, to prove the point that no one messes with him and his Saviours. He also added _ he's being magnanimous _ as them people didn't really know who they were messing with so he isn't going to just take eyes for eyes. But once the rules are settled, there will be no place for mistakes. 

At this point, you are sure that isn't a subject of discussion and nobody has played the devil's lawyer. You won't because you can understand easily why he's going to do that. Protecting his people first, saving people later, as it has to be. 

Two; they won't surrender, which would lead them to the same end but with Negan going harder on them. 

The plan is on already and turns out you are part of it. Not all the Saviours are going to have the "privilege", as he pointed out, but you are in although he said you wouldn't, and you are hundred percent sure it's to prove you that no one can go against Negan's will. You hear a knock on your door  _ 'Sure that's the MAN.' _ you think and he enters after your "Come in".

"Sooo. You have been all way in with working here, uh?" he says closing the door with a grin. "I have no problem with that, but I gotta say, but not being able to find you after your shifts… After what happened between us...  _ man _ , I would say, you are avoiding me.  _ Not cool. _ " he says practically on top of your ear, with his breath raising goosebumps on your neck.

"Guilty of charge." you admit. You have been, indeed, trying to avoid being left alone with him. You thank all the gods of the world for his discretion on the subject as you'ld probably slap him, which is not good for you.

_ He had shown you the skilled lover he was, over and over, until you were spent under him, with both your bodies covered in sweat. You were impressed needless to say.  _

_ As you were able to find your brain again, once he groaned over you and let his body fall to the side, something else surprised you, when he lied at your side in the tiny bed and cuddled you against his chest.  _

_ You fell asleep for a few minutes while twirling softly on his hairy chest as he drew circles on the leg resting over his hips. When you woke up he was still there, caress tickling you awake. After kissing you softly, almost sweet, he finally stood to get dressed and left with a courtesy, saying that management wasn't going to sort itself. _

_ After he left, you stood still naked, to open the windows and refresh the air in the room, it came in cold and you appreciated it but you felt the cold in your soul too. Did you let your attraction for him cross lines for what Sherry said, maybe out of fear? Surely you weren't sure how you felt about him. Somewhere between attracted and concerned, and that wasn't exactly good. The way he treated people was absolutely not your cup of tea. He is the kind of guy you would hate be around of. _

_ Were you just having fun? Or was it you expecting something to come out of it? This was something that was leading you to a dead end and you felt the need to run away, like you always did when it came to man, sex, love and it's relatives. Giving him what he wanted could keep away the idea of making you a caged bird from his head but it would take off importance to whatever you did in the Saviours because everybody would just see that you were giving a try with the big bad wolf.  _ It's all put in a delicate balance and you know it will fall. __

"This is not a good idea Negan." you voice out.

"What in the holy hell are you talking about?" you've almost forgotten that you are facing the maps.

"All." he raises a brow not believing what he is hearing. "This plan. You and me doing it. Everything is fucked up Negan. I'm not gonna be your lover and that's what I would be as I'm not your wife." you say it in a soft tone, just talking calmly. He opens his mouth but you cut him off before he says a word. "I have no interest in becoming one. I'm a woman of action. I have a clue why everybody follows your ass but I'm not falling in line in all ways. No. My life keeps being mine and I'm not even sorry for that." you had the intention to say it all calmly but you get a little build up. It seems to happen too often lately, you are tense, restless. As if you were doing something wrong. "I do my fucking job, follow the rules and I'm a fucking damn loyal bastard to you, because that's how I am. But I'm not going to let your--our." you can't put all the blame on him. "heat, reduce my qualities to your new bed-warmer. I'm a fucking valid person for a bunch of reasons. I hope you can understand that." you say as you turn around slowly, expecting that sour feared face you've seen more than a couple of times towards someone doing something wrong. Surprisingly, there's a toothy grin with frowned brows, something you read as amusement.

"Wow. Yeah, I do! Don't cha worry darlin' we can keep this fuckin' hot thing going on between us as our little secret. That's no fuckin' problem for me." he speaks in a low whispery tone above your nose, meeting your eyes. "But no,  _ you _ , like everybody else here,  _ are mine _ ." he says brushing off importance to the subject yet putting emphasis on the possessive statement. You can't believe he said it just like that, as if people were play-things but decide that you will touch that subject in another point. "But what the fuck you mean about that you don't agree with the plan…" he says taking a mood swing just like he usually does. That is a good quality for making people fear your reaction but you are way to build up for shouting your mouth. Maybe because of the 'mine' thing. 

"I think the way you're doing some things will fire back at us, the Saviours, right in the ass, Negan." his demeanour turns dominant and stern, stormy eyes subject of being objected upon. "When you push people too hard, especially the ones that do what they've done to our people, they tend to unite and fight back till their last breath. You act as if people were belongings that don't know right from wrong-"

"I beg your pardon." he interrupts. At this precise moment, you know, you've fucked up. "Are you actually questioning me?" he gives you  _ the look _ , the one that makes the toughest man look at their feet. You included. "Who are you?"

"Negan." you say raising your head to meet his eyes again, obedient like a puppy. Experience has shown you that keeping your mouth shut, especially when you have not, is your best way to survive. You will do whatever you want because your life is yours, no matter what he says, you won't let others decide for you but sometimes, the best way to get away with what you want, or just simply get away from a difficult situation, is to make others believe that you agree with what they want. When people think that you're submissive they don't expect you to take opposite decisions from what they would want you to do.

"Then you will want what's best for you. Don't you?" says him, still serious and raw. There is no possible objection to that statement. 

"Yes, Negan." you give him the puppy eyes, so he smiles at you.

"I think we should take a ride. Just for the pleasure of it." you get scared for a second, he starts to take the leave without waiting for your answer but stops. "That was a suggestion, by the way. Unless you're scared of being alone with me, darlin'." 

"Is this a date?" you ask him with an edge of sarcasm inside your words, relaxing as he does seem to have genuine intentions.

"Yeah." he gives you in a low breathy tone, like a whisper, while wrinkling his nose and showing his teeth, then bites his lower lip seductively. You chuckle.

"I think I might pass." you say putting a poker face. He raises his eyebrows surprised. "Just kidding, let's get out of here, salt and pepper." he chuckles to the pet name. "I drive…" you say, while you take the leave in front of him.

"No way I'm letting you drive my car!" he chuckles but you stop to look at him. Brows arched.

"I swear to God, Negan, if you pull up that shit that a girl can't drive-" you are not even joking, it pisses you off. Men and women can work out the same things, it all depends on each individual's qualities, not the gender.

"Hey! Calm your tits down. Nobody swings Lucille, nobody drives my car. As simple as that. Now, if you want to drive, you will have to find yourself a machine that works. My car, it's just mine." he says arching a brow in a way to say  _ 'I don't want to have to repeat myself' _ .

"Got it." you say and start your walk to get to the garage. You jumping inside Negan's car raises some eyebrows but suddenly you don't care. 

You haven't noticed how much time you've spent in your room looking at those maps until a saviour oppens the garage door to let Negan's car out of the building, the sun already heading west, his light less intense, the temperature less hot. Perfect timing.

Out of the safe area, as it's circled on the maps, your head rests over your arm on the window breathing the fresh air as you close your eyes. The trip was definitely needed, for a second it's like this isn't the end of the world at all. Just two people on a date. Like when your worst problems from a first world person where just pay your bills and maybe what to do on Saturday night. Now, all that seems so stupid, such nonsense. The car runs as smooth as new and you guess there's a mechanic home.  _ 'So cool. I should probably investigate the building more, I've definitely been too busy working and hiding to know all that's offered.' _

"So. Where do you want us to go, sweetheart?" you hear in the background, too taken by the moment. "Earth to Alice. Where are you, dollface?" he asks almost in a genuine look.

"I'm right here, babe." you say doing an impression of him.

"Are you trying to be cool?" he asks with a chuckle.

"I am already, pops" You turn on the music on his player.  _ "I think that we should ride to a place that we don't know, to a place where no one has seen us before"  _ sounds, surprisingly, being this his car. "I'm thinking you and I better just go with the flow. The last thing that we should do is go slow..." you sing along, forgetting for a second he's asked you a question. He looks at you raising an eyebrow, and then, looking at the front he accelerates. "A really adequate song, right? I didn't expect you to hear this kind of music."

"Arat said you might like it." he says with a smirk. 

"Wait. This was planned." you say matter-of-fact, changing your position on the seat to look at him directly. He smiles, looking at you. 'Of course it is, he could not just leave like that for the sake of it. He's the leader, for Christ's sake.' you conclude. "Where are we going?"

"You'll see." that's the last thing he says on the road.

He stops the car in the middle of a set of crops that has gone wild, the golden plants tickling in your fingers as you walk around enjoying the view. There is a forest a few yards away at the left, enough near for you to see a squirrel jumping up a tree. 'That would have been dinner… this is her lucky day.' 

"What is this place, planning on building a farm for retirement?" you ask as you are really struggling to understand why he chose this place to travel to. It's beautiful you have to admit it, the view extends for miles that much that you can't see the details at the end of it.

"Don't be impatient. You'll see it pretty soon." he leans on the car and takes a packet of cigarettes from the side pocket of his leather jacket. He takes one and turns it. "A smoke?" he leaves the filter of a cigarette showing for you to take it as an offer.

"No, thanks. Never did, I have no intention to start now that I need my lungs to run." the smile coming to that statement confirms he already knew it. You lean on the car really close to him, you know he does not smoke that often for the smell of his skin and his breath. "What are we looking at?"

"Damn, woman! Patience…" he says in his pretty smile holding the cigarette with a side of his lips. You fake a pucker followed by a naughty smile that makes him snort and roll his eyes in divertiment.

You close your eyes when the soft breeze warmed up by a sunny day hits your face. You keep them closed enjoying the moment trying to engrave this memory in your mind to hold onto when things go wrong. For the future, if there's any. The warmth against your face, the smell of the trees, the plants that are tickling your legs and over the trousers... Negan, like a second sun to this earth, giving life, taking it, storming, warm, symbolic… 

In other circumstances you two would have never crossed, you think. He was from somewhere else, he sure had a wife or at least a girlfriend, there's no way he was alone. None of his actual wifes were with him before Sanctuary became a thing, maybe he lost her on his way through survival. It had always been like this: one day you had someone but you could lose it the next; an accident, a murder, a desease… people were always fragile even if they felt invincible. What went down, only accentuated that fact. It showed the truth within, what was held in the shadows, the taboos. At least in most people. In others it surfaced the feel of community, the need to survive together, the strength of grouping up. 

You think you are somewhere in the middle, far from perfection. Being good and noble while others can be good to you, protecting the weak. Savage, wild, fearless… cruel if there's something evil, despicable. Negan stirs your darkness with some acts as much as he stirs your goods. It's a balance that can easily be consumed by the darkness. Everything points to it. Your mentality with the time has grown patient and you live in the moment, planning is good but what can't be controlled, what doesn't depend on you, it's pointless, waste of time to make plans on it. This is a beautiful moment to live in, so you live it. 

You hear the sound of his breath exhaling the smoke of his slowly consumed cigarette, enjoying it. With that mundane action and your previous knowledge of him, you notice, although his attitude of walking on air, he still makes the most of everything he does. You've seen him do that with the wrong stuff that has you on edge but you realise it's not that he's a bad person, it's just him doing that: living the moment. Owning his shit with no regrets. 'Maybe we are not so different after all.'

A new breeze brings his scent to you, now mixed with the nicotine but still his. You memorise it; the touch of his body on your side is warm and makes you feel less lonely, even if it is unreal. 'We are born alone and we die alone.' your personal mantra. You notice that you are starting to feel the excitement you normally feel when you're around someone you have a crush on. Knowing if you let it be like that even if it is just a second, it will become a car crash for you. As much as he is the sun and you can't  _ need _ him, you might get burned if you take too much. 

You were never emotionally attached to the boys you made love with or if you ever did you killed it as soon as it appeared, leaving some heartaches at your pass, or maybe not, you always ignored it. What you don't know won't hurt you.  _ 'This can't be different' _ you tell yourself.

You open your eyes, when he clears his throat, without knowing how much time you have had them closed. His gaze is on you but your eyes are focused on the horizon where the sunset, one of the most beautiful ones you've ever seen, starts to turn the sky into a spectacle of colours, as if the sun set the clouds on fire. You feel as if the tears contended inside of you are going to put rivers in your cheeks, moved by the most beautiful thing you have seen in a long, long time. 

Watching the sunset was a thing one used to do with someone very special, it was in those moments that you stayed silent and the world seemed to be only for the two of you. The rest of the world disappears, making all the noises muffle as if you were deaf and the only thing that mattered was the sky burning. 

Life has become so painful since then and no one you've ever cared about can enjoy this anymore, they can't see any of this anymore. You feel the knot in your throat and you start to freak out. No crying in front of others. Never.

"You know how to get a lady into your bed…" you say, cheeky. Trying to avoid him to think you are into the sentimental stuff, not that you really are these days. He smiles almost sadly, he has his eyes lost in the sky, melancholic.  _ 'You two are not that different. He's lost someone too. Who is he thinking about?' _

"What can I say? I'm a gentleman." he says, in a flirty tone, taking another whiff of smoke to his lungs. Then you notice he's taken the chance to put his arm around your waist while you were lost in the view and he uses it to get you near him. The hand starts moving lower and with it a naughty smile appears in his face.

"That hand has dishonest intentions, gentleman." you say rolling your eyes and in a quick move he puts you up in the hood of the car. You give him room to slide his body between your thighs. "Oh! Your body acts like a hoker." He laughs at that. He's so warm, so sexy. You escape the kiss he is wanting to give you, to go to his neck, smelling him while you give him soft bites in his manly skin.  _ It drives you crazy _ . You let your back fall against the metal and you cover your eyes with your underarm.

"Jesus, if you ain't a vision.." he mutters in a little husky tone. You exhale, hearing a chuckle and one of his thumbs caressing your underlip. Your arms slide above your head as he leans forward on top of you with eyes that show the desire burning inside of him like the sunset that you have just seen. You want him to show you. Closing your ankles behind him and your arms on his neck, you pull him against your body. When his mouth finds yours, when his lips find yours, it's as if the time stops. The way his lips press and move against yours, his tongue moving slow just at the entrance of your mouth, makes you light headed. Your body itches, absorbed by his ministrations. His lips move down your chin, your neck, an expertise hand pulling your hips against his with a single move, pressing his boner against your core. You almost hold your breath. Maybe you do it a little. 

In a fast move, he unties your belt and takes off your trousers, faster than you've ever seen a man do that.  _ 'He must have had it a lot.' _ you guess. He puts a hand on your waist pulling you towards him again as his parted lips meet yours. Then with just one hand he unties his belt and zips down his trousers. The hand over your waist trails down to your pelvis sneaking inside your panties, fingers testing the waters to make sure you are ready for what comes next.  _ You are.  _

He puts his trousers a little bit down to make comfortable room for his  _ "little man" _ to make an appearance and slides your parties from the middle to a side so he doesn't need to take them off. A word crosses your head  _ 'Condom' _ and as if he was able to read your mind, he takes something from his wallet pocket, putting it within his lips, his tooth helping to break the package. With a fast movement of both hands, he has it on.

"So you were ready, uh?" you suggest, noticing he has total control of the situation. As much as it sucks, that's the truth. He's making you dance his waltz.  _ 'But damn if it ain't the hottest one.'  _ At this very moment it doesn't matter who holds the power. He nods with raised brows and a smirk.

He smiles as his tip finds your entrance, moving slowly up and down to coat up your entrance for him. His slide fills you comfortably in three stoic bounces, the crave of him growing as he doesn't move, observant of what your face describes. He finds something he likes because he starts to move increasingly at each moan his hard rock elects from you. You love the little growls and grunts that your constricting walls rip out of him. 

You raise your upper body to let your lips meet, your tenderness at first is soon followed by a soft bite and pull of his lower lip, increasing the sounds of flesh meeting flesh as that little touch of sin motivates him. Your lips run over his neck and a bite finds his jaw making him grunt as both his hands press his hips against yours. Your walls tense as you edge an orgasm. Suddenly the static of the radio on the dashboard distracts you from reaching the sky, although Negan does not cease until he hears the words. 

"Negan, we have them." Negan's face turns towards the car, his passionate expression gone, something different in his eyes. Something dark, something that sends shivers through your spine as he pulls away. The shadow of a premonition that something bad is gonna happen. 

A quiet moment extends as Negan gets off of you, his brown orbs lightning a little when his eyes meet yours again, making you relax a little. He tidies himself before zipping up his pants to go and pick up the radio. The mood he displays as he answers contrasting completely with what you've seen and felt exuding from him seconds before. With the radio on his right hand, the other one finds your waist and he kisses your forehead. 

"I'm sorry babe." Negan says in a low apologetic tone. "We will pick this up where we leave it after this shit's sortet." right after his words, he kisses your neck, giving closure to the moment with a deep kiss, pressing his body against yours. His own needs unsatisfied, sighing after the kiss, in annoyance. You just nod and give him an understanding smile.  _ 'He is a charming bastard. He had you under him the day after picking you up. God damn you if you fall in love for him… This is just fun for him. He already has the rest. Six times.' _

Telling yourself you'll manage the feelings as you've always done, you decide he is convinient for survival, sex is just that, sex. He's the hottests you've seen in years, counting before all of this, the chemistry unavoidingly obvious and you need to feel it, you need to live it. And, he's also a dangerous man to go playing around with feelings that can tear your life apart if something goes wrong.  _ 'Mistakes with men like him, are paid with blood and tears.' _

Negan speeds up on the empty road, you feel the smooth roar of the car as it settles at seventy miles per hour. There is no other authority than him now, so, who will tell him not to? You would, if you didn't find it amusing.

As much as you don't agree with the kidnapping, killing, humiliating and basically robbing other communities supplies, you understand the plan that will go on tonight. Besides your late protest about how Negan pushes people to their limits you get why this is happening, why he says he is being magnanimous with this group. Indeed, if someone killed that many numbers,even just killing one, of the people you cared about, you would want hell to fall upon those offenders. 

Looking at the plan from an objective and subjective point of view, it is epic. The amount of numbers participating, cutting roads, redirecting them to the hot spot… it's by far intimidating. Negan has power and many subjects to follow his orders, whatever he wants to do, gets done, and that's quite bone chilling. His domains extend day by day and those who say one day everything might belong to him are not far from the truth. He is a warlond bending over every community at his path but that little thing that seems to escape his comprehension, is the limits between showing power and going too far by humiliating. That will backfire him some day no matter how many people stand at his back. He's not a God, he's just a human, bone and flesh that can bleed and die. 

For some reason, that worries you. It's not just that the myth that holds together Sanctuary would die leaving the civilians to some merciless Saviours, it's unsure if Negan's not there his lieutenants will keep his rules and guidelines. There's something else. You've been around him enough hours a day, received enough praise for your mind or good choices, seen enough of sneers and chuckles, enough reward and punishment for the guy to grow on you. Thankfully not romantically but in an appreciative maner. Maybe some weird admiration.

He's built something from scratch, kept people alive, created a system, rules to keep people safe. Everything that so many other communities have struggled with, even when things were easier, he's kept it tight and together. That, at least earns him some respect from you. The primal instincts he awakes on you are just a horse of a different color.

When you arrive, the sun has fully disappeared leaving it's place to the stars and the moon. His men are following the plan to an inch, you only see the cars parked and the mentioned RV in the middle of the clearing. A mulled-haired guy, beaten up, stays on his knees with a Saviour at his back pointing a rifle on him, to the touch of the artificial light. Simon's been radioing in with every detail he could get his paws on, so you know this one's the driver and the others are moving by feet inside the forest. You are just too many for them to stand a chance. You wouldn't like to be in their place. 

Simon notices you getting out of the car, when Negan does, and smiles, although you are sure he's not seen Negan kissing your temple before that. You guess he can just figure it out or Negan has gone mouthy on the subject before you talked with him. Simon is his right hand man and you guess he's confident too, to occupy such position. Even with that, it pisses you off that he knows what you've been doing as if it was his business, wanting to erase that mustache-smile off his face. 

Negan, as the leader he is, walks in front of you, looking at the stuff the Saviours have found on the trailer, displayed on the trunk of a car for Negan to see. As he goes to recognise the goods you stay behind, leaning on the same car as Simon. "I dare you to smile like that again, see what happens…" flows through your lips with a side-eye look, without giving a chance for his response you move closer to Negan. A smile on your lips hidden by the dim illumination from Simon's sudden wide eyes, although at this very second you can feel him burning holes on your back. 

"They are like little mices running directly to the cat's mouth. And. I. Am! The big balls sized cat!" says Negan with his characteristic toothy smile, getting your attention and Simons' too. "I almost feel pity for them!" he adds with a burst of laughter that ends in a high pitch on his breathing, like he always does when something is very funny to him. Simon and the Saviours present laugh back. You can tell that there is something off in him, you just cannot tell what it is.  _ 'Surely you are not that obedient, right, Simon? Maybe you are hiding something. _ ' you think for yourself. Not even a smile appears on your face, knowing someone is going to die tonight. You might understand why it's going to be done, you might even agree with it, but enjoyment is far from what you feel about it. Negan looks at you with an arched brow, his smile fades just a little before he adds. "Let's get down to business, shall we? Alice, come 'ere." you obey. "Time to prove yourself." he says, lowering a little his tone. "You wait here and be a good Saviour. Simon! You know what to do." he says last as he gets inside the RV. 

"Right! Let's get this set up." Simon makes you put a van full of bullet holes near the RV, some other cars are parked facing the center, then Negan turns off the lightning and they move the Alexandrian further. Just after, Simon organizes your positions, patting your shoulder to pity you for what you might see. There's an echoed sound of whistles through the forest and you join them as you have been commanded, walking to the back of the semicircle of Saviours, to watch for any walker attracted by the sound. 

There is nowhere to run for the poor souls that are about to be punished. No one can cross the Saviors and get away with it. That, you have it clear. There is punishment. There is and will always be punishment. 

Finally, seconds after, those people arrive at the meeting point carrying a litter, just to find themselves surrounded by the Saviors coming from everywhere around the forest and the incessant whistle. Negan's trademark whistle. There is nowhere to hide, their own RV parked in front of them, now the lights of the cars turning on, blinding them for a second while the Saviours that followed them make the closing wall of the circle. Faces matching a deer surrounded by wolves. Fear to the unknown written all over their faces. The general whistles start to fade, yours too. Then a thick silence is made.

"Good. You made it. Welcome to where you were going." says Simon, walking forward. You observe one more time behind you, there's other Saviours doing exactly what you do but it has to look like you all are just watching a show. "We will take your weapons." he adds, extending his arms vaguely to the rest of the team, then points a gun to one of them, a kid with a wounded eye. "Now." 'Very brave, Simon…' you think.

"We can talk about-" speaks up a man with a peppery beard, who seems to finally understand the situation they had put themselves into.

"We're done talking. Time to listen." throws Simon in a meaningful tone. Some men approach the group to take the weapons and he walks to the kid. "That's yours, right?" he draws near to face the kid with the intention to threaten him. "Yeah, it's yours." adds before clipping on the kid sheriff hat. Regaining his posture he commands. "Okay! Let's get her down and get you all on your knees. Lots to cover."

"Hold up." says a redhead that looks like he could definitely put some resistance. Big, muscles build and a fierce look that also is exuding from his very being. 'A soldier.' you can guess. You've seen enough of them to be able to tell them apart. "We got it."

"Sure, sure." Replies Simon, making a signal for them to proceed. They help a short-haired woman that looks very sick to get to her knees in the center. For the others, it takes a little longer to obey. "Gonna need you on your knees." replies Simon starting to get impatient. "Dwight!"

"Yeah." answers the blonde fellow, dutifully.

"Chop-chop." Simon commands, to the expectant man. 

"Come on. You got people to meet." Dwight moves from behind the crowd and advances to the bullet-holed van. The first person you see gets you shocked to the bone. _ 'Daryl!'  _ you freeze. _ 'He's alive!? What is he doing here!? Oh god, I moved that van!' _ So many questions are building on in your head that you start to spiral. The last time you saw Daryl the world was guided by less hard rules than survival, or at least that was the image portrayed by everything surrounding you. Times where you were way younger and with fewer experiences in life over your shoulders. Those were by far, sweeter times.

_ You met Daryl when you were seventeen and he was twenty-six, by casual, getting into the worst looking bar in your area with your " _ friends _ ". They were on one of those moments where they wanted to feel reckless and they called you for a  _ girls _ night, although they were more near to Daryls' age than yours.  _ 'Why am I with them again? Oh, yeah! My mum wants me to be nice to them because they are her new friends' daughters.' _ you told yourself each time. You ended up sticking with them, though you were a lone wolf and by far very different from them.  _

_"If you want to feel like you are wild, or whatever, we could go for a bungee jump. You are just going to find a bunch of people chilling, I'm telling you that."_ _you told them that afternoon_. _You knew that by fact but they did not listen._

_ When you opened the door because somehow you were the full-forehead of the group, although you weren't even allowed inside by age, your eyes found Daryl. You knew right the second, the guy was just a bit odd in his group. A quiet guy, in a group that looked like the kind of pricks you would like to kick their asses off. Troublemakers, busting up fights. The kind with 'I'm a prick because my parents neglected me and I don't know what the fuck I'm doing with my life.' as a life excuse. Surely nothing good written on their faces.  _

_ Merle, Daryls' brother, called you and your friends over to sit with them, as they spotted you on the door and the impulsive girl of the group was walking there before you could stop her. The rest had to run after her, looking at each other like 'Let's go home.'  _

_ 'There are only two ends to this night.' you thought. You walked behind them with your sassy face and took your seat at Daryls' side. He looked at you sideways, not sure of what to do or not sure what you had in mind with him. _

_ "Come on Daryl! Say something to the girl. You might finally get your ugly ass laid today, boy!" Merl laughed at his brother. Daryl, annoyed, flicked his tongue. He seemed bothered about something. You thought he was cute but did not say a thing to him and looked at Merle in a nagy way. "Come on darling, you know why four girls have come here alone, dressed like that. And if you don't, well, you are too innocent to be here."  _

_ Your clothes were quite normal, not that you should have apologised if they weren't. Your sweetheart neckline sleeveless skater black dress was just at the right length over your knees. Your  _ friends _ wore similar things, showing more or less thigh, but that was not his business anyway. _

_ "Dressed like what? We are not in display for your entertainment. Asshole." your voice slid through in his direction, venom staining your tongue, ready to bite at the wrong move. Your friends looked at you as if you just poked a bear with a stick. _

_ "Be careful how you speak to me girl. We are having fun! Don't be such a party pooper!" growled Merle as if his sexist comment was not a serious thing that was meant to offend. _

_ "How I-But you just-" you almost said, taking it way personal. _

_ "Let's go for a drink." interrupted Daryl, with a calmed tone, standing up. You didn't know he did it for your own good that night because Merle wouldn't have doubted to slap you. You liked to hear him finally saying something to you and followed him. "You guys should leave, this is not your place." he said when you took a seat on a stool, looking behind to see his brother getting touchy with one of your " _ friends _ ", she gave you an ok signal and a wink. You turned around rolling your eyes. _

_ "Well, thanks for the advice but I'm not the one that chose the worst bar around." he looked at you sideways again, kind of offended. "I meant no offence." he just nodded and handed you the bear that he just purchased. 'Cool! He has no idea I don't have the age to drink! If I tell him they might kick me out… what these light-headed girls would do next… Damn. Why do I even bother?'. _

_ "I-Doesn't matter!" you interrupted yourself and made a toasting gesture with it. You told him your age later that night and although Merle made a joke about that he should keep away from jailbait, Daryl did not seem too bothered to see you again the next weekend, as you met them with the friend that was hooking up with Merle. _

_ He was difficult at first, whether it was for your age or him being uncomfortable around new people. You hanged around and tried to be easy going with him, although you would bark the rest of man off. You kind of knew how to earn a bikers respect, it wasn't you trying to be someone you were not, just you being who you didn't trust to be around other man.  _

_ He seemed to be good at reading people because he seemed to pay the same judgements you did over people but far more silent. Your persistence paid off and within a few months his sweet and kind side became more obvious for you. It was easy to understand where that volatile character came from, he was raised by Merle and his parents indeed neglected them, which made him have to work everything for himself. There was never really anyone there for him to trust or rely upon, besides his brother. And Merle wasn't exactly a solid rock. _

_ The more you talked, the more you were able to wheedle from him, the more you were able to see upon that surly attitude he had towards everyone. It was a defense mechanism but that was it, he didn't do a single thing to go the wrong way or do bad things perse, if he followed his brother it was his brother who did wrong, not him. For some people it was difficult to separate them from behaviour and action, so Daryl was hardly misjudged, which only fed his aversion towards people. But it was truly not that difficult to get along with him if you dismissed disruptive judgments.  _

_ Your mother did not like him at first and asked you to stay away from him, that pissed him off when he knew about it. He asked you to leave him alone and said 'What is a nice future college girl doing with a guy from the suburbs, anyway? Your mum is right we don't match.' But when you made your way to see him again because you knew he was pushing you away to avoid bad blood between you and your family, he did not send you out or said anything to make you feel bad about your argument. The two of you just sat next to each other until you reached for the hand resting over his thigh while getting closer to him, then you tangled your fingers with his and he did the same. _

_ The physical contact was just a world apart, at first it was difficult because you weren't sure how to interact, you liked the guy, so you wished to let him know he was different from the other man you talked to. You had always been a cold bitch in that aspect of your life, not sure if it was for the way your mum was around her people, although she was an affectionate mother or if it was for the thought that guys had to earn that kind of things from you. _

_ It was probably the second, because that mentality has not changed that much. You have to like someone very much to be physical in any way. On the other hand, he flinched at your approaches at first, so you respected his personal space for months until he got used to having you around in a little bit more than talking. _

_ It was you who took the initiative in sex, even being a virgin because he was always very contained when it came to the subject. You were kind of worried about what kept him from advancing, so you made sure to be clear enough on how far you wanted him to go each time.  _

That day _ , you placed a condom box over his nightstand making sure he saw you do it, the rest was history. He was delicate, gentle, it stinged at first but it wasn't painful at all and he even made you feel the fireworks. For what you knew, the first time it wasn't always the case. Besides that, Daryl wasn't a very sexual person _

_ You were in love with him, nothing stopped you from being with him, no one was able to come between the two of you. You even managed to tolerate Merle in his ways and inopportune jokes. That was until his dealing with drugs fucked up everything. _

Your eyes grow wet with the memories and you force yourself to blink to dry them off. It is definitely not the moment for a breakdown. You always knew you were not over what happened with you two but had pushed your feelings so far away in the back of your mind when you moved. With that you didn't know how bad that wound was still stinging. 

All you can do now, in the situation you are in, is to put on your  _ 'cold as ice' _ face back on and keep your shit tight. At least until you get your thoughts and feelings in place and order. 

"We've got a full boat! Let's meet the man." Simon approaches the RV and knocks at the door, then walks back to where the future Negan's victims are, to stay behind them. Negan opens the door and steps out with all his weight, bouncing on his knees with Lucille at his shoulder. Displaying his pearls, in that exact moment, you know that something you won't forget is about to happen. Something really, really bad.   
  



	4. World's new order

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally posting this! For some reason it took me ages to upgrade, so I hope you guys find it enjoyable. At least... 😶
> 
> I hope I didn't make too many mistakes. Feel free to suggest corrections ❤

"Pissing our pants yet?" says Negan, the wicked big bad wolf on full display, the dance of shadows and lights in the clearing only making him look more imposing. The alpha in him exuding from every pore through the depths of his hatred. 

_ 'That's how he uses his anger.' _ you think.  _ 'He channels it to dominance and subjugation.' _ you think as you watch Lucile and her dangerous wires rest at his shoulder, his head high. If you would have meet him in this sitution instead, you would have felt far more terrified of him than you were back in the mall. His characteristic smile back to his lips as he starts to walk, knowing they are not yet aware of the things Gregory  _ the pencil dick  _ has told Simon about them. "Boy, do I have a feeling we’re getting close." he keeps on his advances, calmly, inspecting the prays, checking each one of them in a semicircle. "Yep, it’s gonna be Pee-Pee Pants City here, real soon." his smile doesn't fade an inch in any moment, then casually points at each one of them while asking: "Which one of you pricks is the leader?" 

"It's this one." replies Simon, pointing to the middle forties skinny dude with the peppery beard that's looking at Negan as if he isn't surrounded by at least fifty men or as if Negan isn't more life threatening than a walker without legs. To a certain point you can understand his atitude.  _ 'The dude has taken down a bunch of Saviours like they were pigs waiting to be slaughtered instead of soldiers to a tyrant's regime' you remind yourself. _ "It's the guy." adds with his typical second in hand tone. Negan looks at the guy from up, first curious, then gets closer and smiles widely. He already knew. 

"Hi, you’re Rick, right?" he licks his molars with the tongue knowing himself about to break some tough question for those people. The 'What's he going to do to us?' one. But starts talking serious and the darkness shown in his features just seconds ago, gets its way into his words. Simon in front of you seems to be somewhere darker, his body so tense while faking to be standing casually, you are sure you heard his joints snap. Like a contained animal on a tight leash. "I’m Negan. And I do not appreciate you killing my men. Also, when I sent my people to kill your people for killing my people, you killed more of my people." his eyes stain and his voice grows lower to those words. "Not cool. Not fucking cool. You have no idea how not fucking cool that shit is." the guy looks at him and you see in Negan that sparkle. Something crossing his mind. "But I think you’re gonna be up to speed shortly. Yeah, you are so gonna regret crossing me in a few minutes." that smile slowly comes back to his face, the lights making his pearls stand against the dark expresion in the rest of his demeanour. "Yes, you are." his tongue travels to the side of his mouth again and for some sick reason you find that sexy. "You see, Rick, whatever you do,  _ no matter fuckin' what _ , you don’t mess with the new world order. And the new world order is this, and it’s  _ really _ very simple, so, even if you’re stupid, which you very well may be, you can understand it." there's a short pause on his speach. "You ready? Here goes, pay attention:" he adds droping Lucille from his shoulder to point to the guy who's sweating and shaking like gelly, probably starting to notice there's no way out or trying to figure out one, making him move uncomfortably away from her. "Give me your shit, or I will kill you." a confident smile apears on Negan's lips. You are the only lucky bastard at Sanctuary on that matter, there's nothing that Negan can threaten you with besides your own life and you are sure he already knows that wouldn't even be a threat. That is, until Daryl has reapeared in your life and something has twisted in your soul. Something old, something you thought you left on the road. "Today was career day." Negan starts to pace in front of them with Lucille at his side, talking lauder for everyone to hear. Not that you couldn't in this forest silence. "We invested a lot so you would know who I am, and what I can do. You work for me now. You have shit, you give it to me." he points to a short-haired woman. "That’s your job. Now, I know that is a mighty big, nasty pill to swallow, but swallow it you most certainly mother-fuckin' will." there's some rage in his voice but he knows tonight the rules will be engrabed in every single one of their minds with blood. That smile coming and going on the meantime, makes you hope it's just his way of making people think he doesn't care about hurting people in order to make them fall in line. "You ruled the roost. You built something. You thought you were safe. I get it. But, the word is out: You are not safe.  _ Not even close. _ " emphasising those last words to make a point.  _ 'We are the only ones safe, the Saviours. Only if we follow his rules.' _ It makes you shiver. "In fact, you are fucked, more fucked if you don’t do what I want. And what I want is half your shit. And if that’s too much, you can make, find, or steal more, and it’ll even out sooner or later. This is your way of life now." he explains, extending his arms referring to the situation they are in. "The more you fight back, the harder it will be. So if someone knocks on your door" he chuckles. "you let us in. We own that door. You try to stop us, and we will knock it down. Do you understand?" then he cups his ear not really expecting a response, as he arches his brows towards Rick. All probably because there's still some glare-fight coming from his little crowd. The courtsy isn't replied. "What, no answer?" he steps back again to direct to the kneeling group. "You don’t really think that you were gonna get through this without being punished, now, did you?" you look at the group stopping your eyes from staying too much on the one body you know. You  _ knew _ him but you can't stop the thought:  _ 'Anyone but him, please.' _ "I don’t want to kill you, people. Just want to make that clear from the get-go. I want you to work for me. You can’t do that if you’re fuckin' dead, now, can you? I’m not growing a garden." then you notice a change on the air, so thick it could be cut with a knive, as if the words before were just a warm up and he is starting to get to the point. Starting to get serious. "But you killed my people, a whole damn lot of them, more, than I’m comfortable with. And for that, for that, you’re gonna pay. So now, I’m gonna beat the holy hell outta one of you." he makes a slight pause to put his weapon of choice on display. "This, this is Lucille, and she is awesome. All this is just so we can pick out which one of you gets the honor." he keeps walking and stops in front of a redhead that gives him a  _ 'Let it be me, I'm not scared of you.' _ kind of look, to what Negan smiles, inhaling sharply while rubbing his beard. "Huh. Ugh, I gotta shave this shit." he mutters to himself, then keeps walking till he sees the young man with the patch on his eye. "You got one of our guns." he squats in front of the kid. "Yeah. You got a lot of our guns." his gazze grilling on the kid but the boy keeps the eye contact. You shiver, thinking that giving him a stinky eye in this situation is probably a dead sentence but the boy is so young, he's probably not yet had the time to make big mistakes to pay for. "Shit, kid, lighten up. At least cry a little." Negan tells him with a chuckle before clearing his throat. He moves around still not deciding, or what you can guess, just creating tension before choosing who's gonna die tonight but stops in front of the short-haired woman again, who looked like she was going to pass out when she was put down from the liter and she probably looks even worse now, because Negan with all his not giving a fuck tone, says: "Je-sus. You look shitty. I should just put you out of your misery right now-"

"No! No!" shrieks an asian guy, near to tears as he launges forward towards the woman. You bet, to protect her.  _ 'They are a couple, definitely.' _ Dwight and another Savior reduce him quite violently, the first one pointing the crossbow to his head while the guy grunts on the ground.

"Nope," Negan who has been watching the whole thing, starts to move again. "get him back in line." commands before sighing.

"N-noo…" grunts the guy while Dwight drags him to his place again. Then growls and yells with impotence and desperation.  _ 'They don't look like bad people, in fact, they look like pretty normal people you would find at the ground of Sanctuary. Maybe they just wanted to defend themselves' _ but it's not your call. "Don't... Don't…" keeps pleading the guy, Negan chuckles again but you can't see the fun in all this even if he pointed it to you.

"Hey, listen. Don't any of you, do that again. I will shut that shit down. No exceptions. First one's free. It's an emotional moment." Negans' smile comes back again. "I get it." he takes a pause. At this point it seems obvious how many times he's done this to know how to increese the tension and not let the situation become blood bath. You come to the realisation that this might be indeed a tough choice. He has to choose between them the one that will seal the deal. They all are very close to each other somehow, for what you've heard along the waves seems like the community is tightly bond together. "Sucks, doesn’t it? The moment you realize you don’t know shit?" he looks at them and stops his eyes at the kid again, then points him with Loucile and his gaze shifts towards Rick. "This is your kid, right?" he laughs and when he breaths back it makes a leftover noise. As if it's been a funny realisation, although you know he already knew somehow before making that comment. "This is  _ definitely _ your kid!" he adds with a chuckle.

"So stop that!-" growls Rick finally saying something.

"Hey! Do not make me kill the little future serial killer. Don’t make it easy on me." he suggests, showing off he already knows who is who and what's been done. "I gotta pick somebody. See, everybody's at the table waiting for me to order." he starts to walk with his characteristical whistle, letting the air break through his teeth before saying: "I simply cannot decide..." Then walks giving them his back before a chuckle escapes his throat adding to his mystique, then turning to look at them adds: "I got an idea…" he wets his lips giving in a little thought and his teeth show back again. A terrible one, you guess. "Eenie. Meenie." he starts pointing at each one of them, starting for Rick. "Miney. Mo. Catch. The tiger. By. His toe. If. He hollers. Let him go..." he moves to the other end of the lined up people. "My mother. Told me. To pick. The very. Best. One. And you. Are. It." The time stops for a second, so does your heart in anticipation. Something familiar, yet unknown, stirring up some old emotion close to terror in you. Pure terror. "Anybody moves, anybody says anything, cut the boy’s other eye out and feed it to his father, and then we’ll start. You can breathe, you can blink, you can cry. Hell, you’re all gonna be doing that!" the strangth put on Lucille for the first hit afects his last words. Then something stops in you, a numbing sensation swallowing anything you'd been feeling until this moment. Your blood cold on your veins as you see living blood dripping. Some old memory trigering but it doesn't clarify, it doesn't show in your mind. "Oh! Look at that! Taking it like a champ!"

"Suck. My. Nuts." replies the redhead as the blood starts flowing through his head and drips down. The people who know him cry and grunt in desperation. You can do nothing, you just stand there trying to seem like you are looking, but your mind is not focused on that anymore. 

It is hard to see someone you know do that kind of things to someone else but you remind yourself that this is survival to the fittest, you have chosen a side, you don’t know this people. You have to stick to the plan. They killed a bunch of  _ your _ people. You are not a heartless bitch for this. Just one kill, just one and everything will be over. Your head spins on the times you've killed, it was always personal somehow: someone who meant a threat, someone who'd hurt you or your family, someone hurting someone else who couldn't defend itself… What was really that different from this? Nothing. Your hands are dirty too. Who hasn't killed these days?

"Did you hear that?" You come back to see a mass of brain and blood instead of where a head should be, on the floor. Negans' voice is tired by the effort "He said: Suck my nuts!" adds before laughing. He keeps smashing the mass. That keeps adding distress to the people on their knees. Negan moans by the strenghth put on his acts and you forget for a second the situation you are in. "Oh. Oh my goodness!"  _ 'Shit. When did the end of the world make you so damn insensible?' _ "Look at this!" he swings Lucile spacing blood everywhere and makes that deep husky kind of laugh he makes when he’s enjoying something way too much. "You guys, look at my dirty girl!" keeps breathing out tiredly. "Sweetheart. Lay your eyes on this." adds pointing to a woman in the kneeling group and sighs heavily. "Oh, damn. Were you-Were you together?" points out moving Lucile between the corpse and the woman. "That sucks. But if you were, you should know there was a reason for all this. Red- and hell, he was, is, and will ever be red. He just took one or six or seven for the team!" he concludes with humor added to his last lines. You can hear all them breathing shakily, afected by the sircumstsnces and it spins your head, unable to get joy from it. Unable to convince yourself that joking around in a situation like this it's acceptable. "So, take a damn look!" then, before you notice that you have been walking at all and even less moved, you are grubbing Daryl who has tried to jump on top of Negan, shurely to punch him. You whisper in his ear  _ "Be smart, don't get anyone else killed.." _ he moves his head to look at you, eyes wide open, then tries to shake off from your grip. 

"Daryl!" shouts Rick.

"No! Oh, no." you see Negan pointing at Rick. After a little silence, he chuckles looking at you. Your mind processes then that he might be thinking you protected him, which you did too, somehow. But the darkness in his sight gives you the thought he might have catched up that you and Daryl know eachother. If that is it, you two are fucked, in one way or another. "Get him on his knees."

You obey and retire back to your place on the right side of the background, you begin shaking worried he might kill Daryl as he warned minutes before. Simon aproaches, "Calm down, sweetheart." whispers Simon, who's walked your way without you noticing it. Your nerve bigger than yourself, makes you eye him in a murderous look and with all his height and strength he backs up, hand leaving your shoulder. You just think, that if Negan kills Daryl...  _ 'Why do you still care, you idiot!? He broke with you ages ago! Literally, ages, what? Ten-eleven-twelve years ago? Shit who can remember that...? Maybe he is not the person you remember him to be.'  _ You keep strong and steal but you notice that you will hate Negan if he kills Daryl. That you would kill him. 

In a normal situation you would be working in a conversation with Daryl. Setle things for you to move on from the past for good. Not that you would bother with anyone else. After all, you were raised to not take bullshit from anyone. But now,  _ 'Shit... This totally sucks...'. _

Negan looks at you once more. 

  
  


_ You tie your middle length, died black hair in a pony tail before you handle him a cup of hot chocolate from the termo. Then you rest your head on his thighs once again, looking at the sky full of bright tiny dots in the darkness as you caress the picnic blanket next to his legs with your index, making circles while you watch your breaths making foggy clouds in the air. _

_ It has been your idea, to go see the stars at the middle of November but it's the best time to go star gazing. When there's less heat and humidity haze, not that you couldn't see them in summer but the view is definitely better.  _

_ The road to Brasstown Bald has also been enjoyable by itself. Anything that has to do with going on top of Daryl's bike is enjoyable to you. Sometimes you wish you could just have your own and at this pont, you know Daryl wouldn't be the kind to shame you about it. You can't say the same about your mum, she definitely would opose to the idea. She has enough with her son being a biker, she doesn't want her daughter to be a biker herself or much worse, a croweater. Little she knows you are actually an ol' lady. Even Merle calls you that. _

_ You pull your furry blanket higher due to the cold and Daryl gaze moves towards you. In a quick move he places his chocolate over the grass, pealing off his own blanket and lies down next to you. Then takes the spare blanket and pulls it over the one you have. _

_ Although your heights are not so different his much bigger frame makes you feel tiny in his arms as you cuddle with your head on his chest. His breath, his heart are like lullabies. You really wish moments like this could last forever.  _   
  
  


It's surprising how many things your body can do automatically while spacing out. You've moved on the background from one edge of the crowd to another, beying now on the left. Even with that you've seen it all, as if you were really watching. Even if you've tried to obviate it.

"Sure. Yeah" Negan keeps his squat in front of Rick. "Give me his ax"  _ ’Jesus. What's he gonna do with it now…?’ _ your wonder. Simon walks forward from his corner and handles it to Negan who puts the ax in front of Rick and starts to get into an ironical stare and smile, analyzing the man he has in front of him once again. After seeing there is no back off from Rick his demeanour turns stern. Standing, puts the ax on his belt with a deep sigh then grubbs Rick by the collar of his jacket and starts to drag him through to the RV. "I'll be right back. Maybe Rick will be with me. And if not, well, we can just turn these people inside out, won’t we?" He pushes Rick inside through the open door and adds: "I mean the ones that are left." He points at you and then points to the vehicle in a silent order. You jog to enter after he does, closing the door behind, you can locate the ax pinned on the table before you sit in the copilot. Negan is already on the driving seat. He’s looking straight ahead with determination. "Let's go for a ride." He tries to start the engine with no success. "Wow. What a piece of shit!" Then he sucks in with his tongue between his teeth and adds: "I'm gonna kill you..." with mokery, imitating Ricks' previous statement and chuckling to it. "Are you kidding me? Did you see what just happened? What I just did? You just..." he comments sighing ironically. "Your best chance, is to stand up, grab that ax, and drive it to the back of my head." states without even turning around. You are not sure if it is due to cockiness or because he is sure Rick will not do it but you're still sitting with your legs halfway on Negan’s direction in case you have to stand. "See how you do?" Now you see Negan looking through the rearview mirror. "Keep acting tough. Go ahead.  _ Grab, the damn, ax. _ " when Rick does exactly that, Negan stands up at the second, pointing an M4A1 SOPMOD previously left next to the driver seat while you point him with your Magnum Desert Eagle. You have not even bothered to get up, you just turned around. Negan makes a denial gesture with his head and chuckles.

"Drop it," He says in a tone that almost brushes the sigh, which causes a shiver of excitement in your body.  _ ‘At what point have you started to like his dominant tone…? Damn girl, you're fucked up.’ _ Rick obeys followed by the cling of the ax on the ground. Then Negan uses the base of his weapon to hit Rick's belly, cutting off his breath. Sighing and sticks the ax back on the table in such way that it makes Rick back off, even though you remain impassive. "Do not make me get up again." Concludes Negan dryily. When he turns back, you exchange glances. "Well, look at that. Dawn is breakin'." his eyes meet yours again, with a face you can not decipher then turns around, his pearly smile doing honors on his face once again. "It's a brand-new day, Rick." he anounces with a chuckle then sits in the front of the wheel, ready to go. " I want you to think about what could have happened, think about what happened, and think about what, can still happen ." Negan sighs as if tired of repeating himself, which is probably not a good thing for the dude in his knees. Then Negan starts the engine and the big machine finally moves. The silence is made during a few seconds in the ones you can see the guy in the back is not with you but somewhere in his mind. ‘Good, he's thinking, maybe this will end up soon for all of us. This shit is taking too long, if someone just accepts that he has nothing to do and that he lost… I hate this shit I wanna go home.' The day is brightening but the road is covered in a dense fog that won't let you see in an inch of distance without the lights. You hear a walker approaching just before the RV splashes its head in the front window. 

Negan laughs with malice "Oh! Boom!" jokes Negan before he keeps laughing. "That remind you of anybody you know?"  _ ’Oh boy...’ _ Another giggle comes along while bashing another walkers’ head against the front of the vehicle. "Oh, yeah." The growling continues, you suppose it must be a herd attracted by all the noise that has been going on the past few hours. The brakes squeal and the engine shuts off, then Negan makes the keys jingle in his hand. Grunting he walks to the back but you just stay and observe. Squating on Rick’s side states: "You are mine. The people back there," Rick does not met Negans' eye as he speaks "they are mine. This," He shows Rick the ax "This is mine."

All the grunting noises comming from outside indicate a big amount of walkers approaching the RV. Negan stands up and walks to the door opening it and does something you would not expect. After killing one of the undead, looks at Rick whose eyes are on the carpet that covers the floor and with a naughty face, he throws the ax over the roof of the motorhome. "Hey, Rick go get my ax. Let's be friends." Rick looks at him for a second, pissed off, not wanting to bow his will to Negan’s ways of humiliating people. Another walker tries to get inside to eat your tasty flesh. "Oh." Negan says in a chuckle then bashes its head with Lucille. Negan sighs and angrily approaches to Rick, threatening him with Lucille. "Get my ax." Moving away to leave some space to the guy to go to the door, you can see in the obvious expressions of his face that Rick is struggling to give up. But then Negan throws him out of the truck without giving him a thought and closes the door behind. You stay put, looking at Negan who's now looking back at you.

_ "I can't wait to get home." _ you whisper, looking away while you stand up, more for yourself than anything else.

_ "Yeah. Well. I have a better idea after what I’ve seen earlier on." _ says Negan with a lusty tone but keeping it a whisper. You suppose he is referring to the fact that you saved his gorgeous face from a punch.

_ "You're welcome." _ you say looking at him receiving a naughty look.  _ "It was nothing, really. But I was referring to go take a nap. I'm so done..." _ you talk back in a subconscious playful tone while walking to get next to him. He's features show he's really not in the mood for pull-and-push.

_ "I was expecting to end what we started before. Maybe get that sweet a-" _ you give him a killshot glare responded with a dark smile from his side.

_ "Language." _ you grill in a calmed tone.

_ "Hey, didn’t mean to-" _ says him quietely by contrast with his previous attitude but gets interrupted by Rick's footsteps as he gets on the roof of the RV and then he looks up forgetting about you, loud enough for Rick to hear it, says: " Bet you thought you were all gonna grow old together, sittin' around the table at Sunday dinner and the happily ever after." taking a little pause for dramatic effect. "No. Doesn't work like that, Rick. Not anymore. Think about what happened," then his eyes meet yours. ‘I might not have helped the mood with the regection. Such a dick...’ and you might have changed your expression with the thought because his brows are arched in surprise when you focus on him again. " People died, Rick. It's what happened. Doesn't mean the rest of them have to. Get me my ax." he says, eyes still on you. "Get me my ax!" repeats looking at the ceiling and then whispers to you:  _ "So, sweetheart you are on my top list now. The way you stopped that guy, your fury..."  _ he gets closer, expecting you to react but your hand presses on his chest. Grabbing your hand and kisses your wrist.

_ "Let's leave this for the privacy of Sanctuary, shall we?" _ you whisper in his ear. He puts his hand gently in your throat catching your jaw and kisses you. You can hear in the background how the amount of walkers around the RV is increasing.

"I thought you were the guy, Rick. Maybe you're not!" speaks Negan but this time doesn't look away, his hand moves to the back of your hip. His voice louder and intense. "We'll give it one more go. Now, I really want you to try this time. Last chance," his face gets darker when he hears no movement from up, his hand leaves your hip to unlock the automatic weapon and his eyes look up before shouting in that direction: "Bring me, my ax!" then he fastly moves away from you and starts to fire it towards the ceiling, slightly away from where you could hear Ricks' footsteps automatically you hear the thud off his run and the sound of a chain. You two walk to the back window to see him hanging, grabbed like a koala to the undead guy on the bridge. Then the walkers start to pull him down by his feet when he slides a little from the moving body. You look at Negan who just smiles at you. You gesture him in a:  _ 'Please, do something.' _ only replied with a chuckle and an eye roll, as if he thinks you have no sense of humor. When your eyes meet the outside again, you both see how the head of the hungging corpse is separating from the body  _ 'Jesus! That's awful!' _ you think, totally disgusted _. _ Then Negan quickly opens the back window and starts to shoot to the walkers surrounding Rick. You move back to your seat, expecting this to be over soon.

"Clock is ticking, Rick!" Says Negan closing the window with a knock of his hand against it, then adds walking through the RV. "Think about what can still happen!" then you can hear Rick outside grunting, you suppose he's fighting the walkers. Negan winks at you.  _ 'I will do best to keep it up and to not let him get that I find this an awful thing to do. It wouldn't change anything right now, anyway...' _ Negan presses the horn, to alarm Rick outside, you guess, or maybe the walkers. You can hear Rick bashing walkers near. One splashes against the RV, like a filled balloon. Then he tries to enter but the door is locked and you can hear one more crashing against the bodywork. 

Negan calmly opens the door and shoots with his M4 clearing a little for Rick to enter then gets out of the way before Rick jumps in closing the door behind him and panting. Negan paces in the spot while Rick tries to get the air back to his lungs. When the last one stands, the big boss looks at him demanding the object with his hand. Rick gives it to him with hateful eyes and seats on the tablle with his head down. Negans' stare stays on the other man and even with him giving you his back, you know he is smiling. "Attaboy!" with that, sinks the ax on the table once more and walks to the wheel. You see with the corner of your eye how Rick follows him with his eyes, daggering him.  _ 'Man, you are not understanding shit, are you…?' _ you think. He is so focused that seems to have forgotten your presence. Then Negan starts the engine and drives back to the meeting point.

  
  


"We're here, prick." states Negan, standing up and walking to where Rick is, who at the same time keeps giving a killshot glare to him. Negan sees that and in the way he smiles, you notice he is not having it.  _ 'This guy has way too much testosterone or he is a fucking idiot. Oh lord… Just bow your head and accept you lost, you have nothing to do right now'. _ Negan starts to talk while checking on the cabinets. "This must be hard for you, right? I mean, you have been King Shit for soo long. Losin' two of your own like," He snaps his fingers in front of Rick. "Gettin' 'em clipped like that, one nut, then the other, and in front of your boy? That is some screwed-up shit!" he makes those voice tone changes during the conversation that have you hooked but it's as simple as breathing for him. "Oh. Goody!" he exclaims when he finds a bottle of ethyl alcohol before opening it. Following the motion with a sigh, he leaves the lit on the table and leans on top of Rick before he adds. "You were in charge." Unhooking the ax from the table, "Hell," he rubs it against Rick's jacket to remove the traces of clotted blood that cover it, as a mental subjugation that makes Rick wince. "you were probably addicted to it. And now," Negan starts throwing the liquid over the metal of the weapon to clean it. "well, clip, clip- that's over. But," he points out as he takes a seat in front of Rick, casually. "you can still lead a nice, productive life producing for me." Rick's eyes meet Negan's not submitting and this one passes him the ax by the handle, you can sense his smile again. "I think you're gonna need it. I just got a feelin'," Negan tells him before he sighs. You know that Rick is pushing his patience with the useless resistance he is showing. "so take it." he concludes, demanding. By his tone, you'ld say Negan is borderline angry but you can't really tell if it's part of the game or it's for real.  _ 'His mood swings… damn…' _ You hear him standing and you motion to do the same, only to see this one is throwing Rick out of the RV.

Negan grabs Rick by the nape again to put him in front of his group as if he was a dog. You just walk out of the RV with no rush and close the door behind you before reuniting with the rest of the crew.

"Here we are.  Let me ask you something, Rick. Do you even know what that little trip was about?" inquires Negan without moving. You can see now the faces of Rick's group in detail but see too, that Daryl has blood running down his shoulder, which pisses you off moving old feelings of protectiveness. "Speak when you're spoken to."

"Okay. Okay." replies Rick breathing heavily.

"That trip was about the way that you looked at me. I wanted to change that. I wanted you to understand..." explains Negan adding a smile when Rick gives him  _ the look,  _ again. "But you're still looking at me the same damn way. Like I shit in your scrambled eggs, and that's not gonna work! I wanted you to understand. So," then he squats next to the man in question, playing with Lucille in his grip. "do I give you another chance?"

"Yeah." replies Rick rapidly, still breathing heavily. "Yes. Yes."

"Okay." Negan taps on Rick's shoulder before adding: "All right!" standing again and rubbing is nose thoughtfully. "Here it is," bouncing he paces for a moment, "the grand-prize game. What you do next will decide whether your crap day becomes everyone's last crap day, or just another crap day." then gestures to the Saviours at the back. "Get some guns to the back of their heads." the obedience takes only seconds. "Good. Good. Now level with their noses, so if you have to fire-" imitating an explosion with gesture and sound in a very graphic way adds: "it'll be a real mess." then chuckless. "Kid." he says calling the subjects' attention, inviting him with hooking fingers, then pointing the floor where he wants him to go. "Right here." Disobedient, the boy does not move and stays put looking back at him. "Kid. Now." then this one finally moves.

"You a southpaw?" Negan asks him once he is where he ordered.

"Am I a what?" asks the kiddo with a strange look and some nerve.

"You a lefty?" Negan inquires, redoing his question as he would to a child.

"No." replies the boy, despectively.  _ ‘This kid has a fucking nerve! Like father like son, they say...’ _

"Good." adds Negan while tying his own belt on the left arm of the kid with Lucille held under his own. "That hurt?" wonders then, with no real care in his tone.

"No." More nerve on the show.  _ ‘God, sure Negan will fool himself thinking this kid would do a good Saviour. His face says it all...’. _

"Should. It's supposed to." replies with his characteristic smile. "All right. Get down on the ground, kid. Next to daddy. Spread them wings!" orders the man, throwing the boy’s hat away at his back. The kid obeys when Negan makes him go down to the floor and gives him a final push to make his belly touch the grownd, with a grunt. "Simon you got a pen?" 

"Yeah." You can tell Simon is not impressed by the way he says it.

"Sorry, kid." apologizes the big boss as he takes off the lit from the marker pen, then groans when he squats next to the boy, as if his knees hurt after so much bouncing. With the cap still on his mouth he starts drowning something on the kids' arm and adds: "This is gonna be as cold as a warlock's ballsack, just like he was hanging his ballsack above you and dragging it right across the forearm." then takes off the cap from his mouth and covers the pen before passing it back to Simon. "There you go. Gives you a little average."

"Please don't. Please don't." begs Rick looking at Negan.

"Me?" Negan chuckless dismissibly. "I ain't doing shit." then stands with Lucille on his grip again. "Ahh..." groans. "Rick, I want you to take your ax cut your son's left arm off, right on that line." ’Fuck…’ "Now, I know- I know. You're gonna have to process that for a second. That makes sense. Still though, I'm gonna need you to do it, or all these people are gonna die," Rick starts hyperventilating. "then Carl dies, then the people back home die, and then you, eventually. I'm gonna keep you breathing for a few years, just so you can stew on it."

"You-You don't have to do this. We understand. We understand." pleads the deadlock haired woman.

"You understand." emphasizes Negan. "Now. I'm not sure that Rick does." says in remark before putting his attention back to the man. "I'm gonna need a clean cut right there on that line. Now, I know this is a screwed-up thing to ask, but it's gonna have to be like a salami slice." ’Tell me he’s not fucking joking with it… why am I even surprised at this point. Yeah, he's joking with it...’ you think. "Nothing messy, clean, 45 degrees- Give us something to fold over. We got a great doctor. The kid'll be fine..." Then fakes to ponder on it for a second. "Probably." squatting again in front of him talks to the man: "Rick this needs to happen now, chop-chop, or I will crush the little fella's skull myself." he points out nearing the baseball bat to the kids' head.

"It can-It can-It can be me. It can be me. W-W-" Rick stutters sniffing, totally decomposed. "Y-You can do it to me. I c-I can go with-with you."

"No. This is the only way..." Negan says calmly. "Rick pick up the ax." orders after standing. Then a little silence is made. "Not, making a decision, is a  _ biiiig _ decision." Negan’s tone is starting to raise, meaning his patience is cracking. "You really want to see all these people die? You will. You will see every ugly thing," Rick hyperventilates again. "Oh, my God. Are you gonna make me count? Okay, Rick. You win. I am counting. 3!"

" _ Please… _ " Rick starts crying, " _ Please… _ " gasps, " _ It can be me. Pleeease! _ " the crying intensifies, desperation remarkable in his words. " _ Please don’t…" _

"2!" Shouts Negan without compassion.

" _ Please, don't do-" _ "Rick keeps pleading while sobbing. 

"This is it." replies Negan after he squats to grub the crying mans' face to make his point clear. "1!"

" _ Aaah! _ " Growls Rick desperately.

_ "Dad just do it." _ you can hear the kidd whisper.  _ ‘What a pair of balls.’ "Just do it." _

Then Rick stays there struggling, breathing heavily and you start to think he might pass out. You have seen someone do so before you got into Sanctuary, being under pressure, sometimes the body just collapses but then he keeps screaming, grubbs the ax and points it to the sky getting ready to do the hit that will change his kids' life. Negan squats next to Rick again, but his face is a draw of winning and pride. Rick looks at him with the most pleading eyes you’ve ever seen. Broken.

"You answer to me. You provide for me." Rick nods obediently and you can just think: 'This is what Sherry meant when she said he always gets what he wants, no matter what…' "You belong to me. Right?" growls Negan while the man keeps nodding in collapsed breathing. "Speak when you're spoken to!" shouts Negan grubbing Rick’s face violently "You answer to me! You provide for me!"

"Provide for you" replies Rick in a sly of voice.

"You belong to me, right?!" remarks Negan, still shouting.

"Right." Rick answers with a heavy breathing tone.

"Right." Negan wins. ‘Negan always wins.' you think. "That. Is the look I wanted to see!" exclaims standing up. But things aren't over yet as he grubs the ax. "We did it, all of us, together. Even the dead on the ground. Hell, they get the spirit award, for sure." sighing adds: "Today was a productive damn day!" Then sighing again: "Now, I hope, for all your sakes, that you get it now. That you  _ understand _ how things work. Things have changed. Whatever you had going for you,  _ that, _ " he interrumpts himself chuckling. "is over now. Ah..." groans before adding what puts you on alert, pointing to Daryl with Lucille: "Dwight! Load him up." the man in question has to put some effort to pull him back to the back of the van before he points at Daryl with the crossbow. Then you look at Daryl for a last time, his eyes meet yours before they close the doors. Negan squats again, next to Rick. "He's got guts- Yeah, he does. Not a little bitch like someone I know." he remarks, moking Rick. "I like him. He's mine now. But you still want to try something?-Not today, not tomorrow- Not today, not tomorrow-? I will cut pieces off of-" he looks confused for a second and directs his eyes to Simon. "Hell's his name?"

"Daryl." Simon answers solemnly.

"Wow." Negan chuckless. "That actually sounds right!" his eyes direct back at Rick. "I will cut pieces off of Daryl and put them on your doorstep." smiling rephrases: "or, better yet, I will bring him to you and have  _ you _ do it for me." then chuckles and taps Rick's shoulder before standing up. Again. "Ahh!" groans. "Welcome to a brand-new beginning, you sorry shits!" he shouts theatrically. "I'm gonna leave you a truck. Keep it. Use it to cart all the crap you're gonna find me." then everybody starts to move, so does Negan. You too in his direction. "We'll be back for our first offering in one week. Until then ta-ta!"

With that, he lives behind his trail of destruction. In this case, more psychological than physical. 

You leave along with Negan, right behind him and you both get into the car. There and then the tiredness hits you right in the face.  _ ‘Shit I’m getting too comfortable… I was never this tired when alone.' _ But you put your seat back and close your eyes in what could be read as a trustful gesture towards Negan. You can feel his glare for a second but you just relax and let the darkness consume you. Then you are in a different place. 

_ It’s a cold night to be outside but your group has not found a shelter and it has been two days of walking around trying to find food and medicines for Eric, the member that has been ill for a few days. Without that luck, it’s just getting worse. You have no other option than to light a fire for all of you to warm up. Laura and Alan, the blonde couple will keep the watch during the night so the rest of you can sleep.  _

_ You wake up by a loud scream to find out that Eric has inexplicably become a walker. He had just a bad cold, no bite, no scratch. Now he's attacking your mum, who was sleeping right next to him to offer some aid during the night.  _

_ He is ripping her throat already by the time you all react to the horrible scene, so your first reaction is to put a bullet through “its” head. Running towards your mum, you can only witness how she's choking on her own blood. Tears start dripping down your cheeks and a knott forms on your throat as you contain a scream of pain. Out of love and compassion, you show mercy by shooting her right in the middle of the forehead.  _

_ Then you just stay there looking at her breathless body with no light in her eyes as if the time has stopped, as if you were held in the time-space, unable to move a muscle. She’s gone. Your mother is dead.  _

_ The warm tears keep falling down but you are numb, your thoughts collapsing and then you feel a hand pulling you before you come back to reality. The secreams and the gunshot have attracted walkers around you. Some members of your group are already dead on the floor with a chunks of their bodies inside some walking corpses. Reacting, you run in the direction you are being pulled to. Your brother has your hand and you two are already breathless.  _

_ After killing a few walkers on your way, you two get on a tree and then is when you notice your hand is wet on your brothers blood. He’s been bitten in his shoulder and already losing too much blood from an artery.  _

_ "John…" he hushes you. " _ John _." You whisper this time. " _ You are bleeding..." _ you say. As if he hasn’t noticed yet he looks at his arm under the light of the moon. _

_ " _ Shit _!" he whispers. " _ Fuck! _ " you see a walker go the way you just came from. " _ You have to shoot me Allie _." _

_"_ What!? No! _" He hushes you again. "_ No way… _"_

_ " _ I’m going to die Alice _." That shoots you like a bullet through the heart. You start to sob. " _ I don’t want to become one of those things… and I will only slow you down if we go together to end up like them anyway. I don’t want to put you in danger. _ ' _

_ " _ Please don’t… _ " You start crying again. You feel weak and lonely all the sudden. Unable to believe you are going to lose the only people you ever loved in you life on the same night. Your mum and your brother, wiped out like dust to the wind. As if they were nothing. " _ I can’t do this alone… Please… _ " _

_ " _ Allie, I love you and I want you to try to live. There has to be somewhere you can live a life, there has to be somewhere. I want you to find it. I want you to fight for it. I want you to live. Promise me you will live _." You don’t say anything. " _ Promise me, Alice _." _

_ " _ I promise _." You say and hugh him, only to feel his heart working very hard to keep the blood run through his body. _

_ " _ You have to do it now. _ " he mutters. You don’t know how much time has passed but you can see your brother looks whiter. He tries to pick up the gun that is still in your hand but you put your hand away. He looks at you, eyes begging, but you can’t do it. Something stops you. Something selfish that wants to keep clinging on your bond. _

_ " _ I’m sorry. I’m so sorry… _ " you whisper as you cry. Then he just nods and with a fast movement, he pulls the gun out of your hand and shoots himself in the temple. _

_ You whimper and automatically hold his body about to fall. You hug him there and burying your head on his chest, letting the knot in your throat break in a pained cry. _

You wake up in a whimper as someone's hand moves you. You panic for a second but then notice you're still on Negan’s car and he’s been the one to shake you awake.

"Sorry, love. You seemed to be going through hell in there." You notice the warm sensation of tears falling through your cheeks. "Oh shit…" You rush to dry your skin out off the weakness showing up.

"I’m fine" he looks at you not really beliving it but puts his eyes back to the road understanding. Noticing you’re shaking, you put your seat straight. Then rub your hands that feel awkwardly numb.  _ ‘If the nightmare is back, it has to mean something’ _ .    
  


You are still restless when you come out of the car. Negan starts ordering you, Saviours, to occupy your next hours on resting since he's satisfied with the job. You see Dwight taking Daryl out of the van, Negan gives him a nod, then he walks to the door and disappears through it. You feel the urge to go behind them and make sure Daryl is fine but it would be a grave mistake. So masking your nervousness, you lead your way to the corridors. The feel of a big and warm hand take hold of your wrist takes your first response to back off and free your hand, that is before you realize it’s Negan.

"What’s going on?" wonders seriously.

"Sorry, I'm really tired." you reply showing up a toothy smile but Negan does not buy it.

"I wouldn’t like to have a misunderstanding here, so, for your own sake, tell me what’s going on." He asks politely yet threatening.

"I just vividly dreamed how my mum and brother died… I think I’m feeling a little bit out of my body right now. My apologies." you answer, deleting the smile from your face. You can’t believe the fact that Negan gets closer and puts a hand over your eyes, in a tender gesture.

"Go to sleep sweetheart. I’ll see you in a few hours." he whispers. You nod appreciating the gesture, with that you leave walking slowly through the empty corridors. Once again in your room, you let your body fall on top of the bed and everything becomes pitch dark again.    
  


You wake up confused and alarmed for a second before realising where you are. It's night time and silence reigns at Sanctuary, as always. That's one good thing that came along with the disease. The silence.  _ 'Some day nature will win it's place back.'  _ you wish _. _

You get up from the bed thinking it can be a good chance to sneak out and get into the cells. See Daryl again, know in what kind of treatment he has been put on.  _ 'Am I stupid to worry about him?' you wonder. _ Looking through the room in the darkness, only the moon light allows you to find the clothes you were wearing earlier. Still not showered, there is no point in changing the garments. 

Your steps lead you to the cells. The door isn't closed but you take a careful look to what's around you, in case there's someone on watch. There's an annoying song playing set on repeat but you don't touch the music player. Surprisingly, there is no one looking after the prisoners. Taking the chance to look at which doors are locked before looking after the keys, you find out only one of them is. Then you find yourself entering the guardian's room, looking for the set of keys. 

Opening the door you see a plastic plate on the floor with some sort of sandwich and Daryl covering his eyes from the light in the corridor, in one corner of the room. Your eyes fall over his dirty clothes and hair, thinking how the man has definitely seen better days. Then you realise he's looking at you. 

" _ Are you okay? _ " you ask, feeling stuppid right the second. He's obviously not but it's more like an approaching question. You motion to squat in front of him and touch his shoulder only for him to avoid it. " _ I mean no harm…" _

" _ Why are you with them? _ " he inquires, fierce eyes meeting yours.

" _ Seems things have given a twist, uh?" you reply bitterly, unable to hold your tongue with that judgement.  _ " _ Now I'm the one with the bad guys and you're with the good ones. Who would have said that ten years ago when your brother screwed everything up and you… still choose him _ ." you grill him sarcastically, he lowers his head just slightly but still looks at you analyzing  _ 'Are you sorry or you are still your brother's puppy dog?' _ .

"It was-" he tries to speak but you interrupt him.

" _ I was alone. Had no option. Also… I thought it could be a better chance of survival _ ." his eyes still hard on you soften a little, just slightly enough for you to notice. " _ Don't lecture me, for what I've heard you killed a dozen of Saviours for no apparent reason… _ "

" _ If you think they are good people you're delusional. _ " he comments. You chuckle. It seems that some of Negan traits might be accentuating yours.

" _ Call me whatever you like Daryl… I've always done right to my conscience, I'm not going against it now _ ." You whisper the last word. "I'll also remind you what I said that day: 'I forgive you'. No matter how bitter I am about it." you whisper that near him waiting for a bad reaction but only a surprised look appears in his features. No words. When you move to stand, you find something calling your attention in the corner of your eye. Dwight's shocked look from the other side with a sandwich on his right hand.  _ 'I'm hungry too, I can't blame him. There's no way to escape this place, anyway.' _

You calmly close the door and walk his way handing him the set of keys, followed by a dangerous smile, warning him to keep it a secret. If he was to drag you down, he would fall too. So he just nods and you keep walking while deciding it might be a good idea to have a shower and some food. 

In a hurry, your walk to pick up your stuff and rush to the showers, in case you are needed for anything. Afterwards with your hair still damp you sit on the couch of your room, opening a can of sardines, cutting some bread to fill your stomach, even though it's quite turned by the previous events.  _ 'He's there, eating shit and I'm here eating like monarchy these days. If I was lucky I wouldn't know he's still alive…' _

You are almost done when you hear a recognisable knock. 

"Come in." you reply loud enough.

"Hello, darling." says Negan swinging the door open slowly and entering with his hand still on it.


	5. Fallen angel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hii guuys! Finally posting new chapter! I don't know why I got stuck somehow. I hope you guys enjoy it though!
> 
> Let me know your thoughts ❤

"Hi." you say with a nod as he enters. "To what master plan of yours do I owe the pleasure of your visit?" you wonder. A little bit of doubt set on your mind, thinking the blond might have run his mouth.

"I thought you were a bit down this morning and also,  _ maybe _ , some good Bourbon would do the trick. It's your poison, isn't it?" he asks, showing a couple of glasses and a brand new bottle of said drink.

"If I would ever have one, nor that I drink as you know, it would definitely be that one, yes." you smile sideways as an open invitation, to what he closes the door behind him. "Are you trying to take advantage of me Mr?" you cheekily ask.

" _ No _ ." he says, sounding sincere as he approaches the kitchen counter. Then stays in silence for a few seconds, weighing what he wants to say next. "So, how was it?" he questions while he opens the bottle. You panic.

"Uh?" you mutter, hoping Dwight really didn't say anything, that you're just being paranoid.

"How did they die?" he rephrases it, looking at you sideways while pouring the liquid on the glasses. You really wonder what's worse.

"Oh… Long story short," you start, trying to sound as unbothered as possible. "I had to shoot my mum after we were attacked and a few hours later see how my brother shoot himself." you explain, grabbing the glass Negan is offering you. Emptying the content in a few deep sips, you try to bring down the knot in your throat.

"Wow! That's some screwed up shit… No wonder you are such a tough little lady." He says looking at you intensely trying to read you and takes a sip of his own glass.

" Yeah… I don't think the word  _ little should _ be put on a mention of me though… Your turn." you say demanding, to him.

"You are shorter than me,  _ and _ , you gonna need a lot of these-" he explains, showing you the glass at last. "for me to talk."

Like a spring you stand to grab the bottle and pour some more in his glass. He chuckles to your enthusiasm. 

After a few drinks and some babbling about life before the dead-not-so-dead he opened up about his real wife, Lucille, who the bat took the name after. How he cheated on her and only after finding out she was having cancer he broke up with his mistress to go back to his wife. Her hurt words about it. How, after trying to fight, she ended up in a bed tied up to a machine that kept her alive artificially. And that when everything went down and the machines failed, she died but came back like one of the monsters that were eating people alive outside. At the end, he admitted, he couldn't put her down and left the hospital behind. 

He admits to never having told this to anyone and you can tell the memory still pains him, the feeling of his weakness still weighing on his shoulders. 

"This... This gives me the tail that you might actually trust me? I mean… we don't know each other for that long, yet you tell me this, just like that." you speak up, sitting completely straight on your couch. "I really don't think the buzz has anything to do with it. I'm sure a big man like you can handle it, but at the same time, I know man enough to know this shit could be a play, to appeal to my better nature and get something you want. So, what do you want, Negan?." you express.

"You know me well enough to know, if I wanted something I would have told you so." he says, taking a sip. " _ And _ , about trusting you... So far, you got nothing to lose, you've seen what I've done and you-hell, I'm pretty sure your smart ass can guess what I can do. Yet, your smart ass has chosen the smart option: to stay, when you could have taken your shit and left.  _ And,  _ my old ass knows as much as you do, it would be difficult to find you." he takes a pause. "Not impossible, but it would probably waste me a good load of sources. Hm, I think that's a good reason not to distrust someone." he concludes.

"Ok. Then, if I'm into the benefit of the doubt... If I took a decision without asking, would you think that I'm doing it for the best of us?" you ask him with a stern face.

"Is this some sort of game I don't know I'm on?" he says with a chuckle. " 'Cause I'm not sure I'm following you… What the hell are you talking about? What's all this supposing shit about?"

"It's not a game." you say, looking at him in the eye.

"Darling, like anybody else here you have free will. Even if you use it for good or not, you have it. And until it's shown the opposite, I trust everybody will follow the rules. That, includes you." he says in a cocky smile but his eyes are quite darker in emotions. He probably expects the worst from everybody and that's what motivates his tyranny. "So it's up to you what you'll do." he concludes.

"That's all I needed to know." you tell him, letting your back fall to the cushions you earned scavenging.

"So, is there something you wanna tell me?" he asks in a chuckle, curiosity killing his patience.

"I was taking you for a man of your word. If you say you trust me you should honor that, don't you?" you say raising an eyebrow with a little humor in your words. At this point you know, he knows of your visit to the cells, even if Dwight has kept his mouth shut. He  _ always _ knows everything. And you feel a little like a mouse running to a trap, just like the Alexandrians did.

"Touche." he points out, leaning backwards. 

Then the silence reigns, for prolonged minutes in which you both enjoy each other's company while drinking sips of the alcohols. Your eyes meet here and there as your gazes linger around the room.

"I actually didn't come here to get all soft and shit." he says, suddenly, but not surprisingly.

"Sure." you interrupt him, sarcastically. His eyebrows raise in response. "Regret shouldn't be in your speech, if that's what those words are. Don't worry I won't tell anyone that you actually have a heart…" you say mockingly making him huf.

"Nor that I care," he replies, with a chuckle, taking his last sip of bourbon. "but thanks. I won't tell either." you raise your glass to that and he chuckles again.

A sudden knock disturbs the little bonding moment. The person behind does not wait for you to answer and you see Negan does not approve it instantly. 

"Negan I thought I would-" says Travis, one of the youngest Saviours.

"Have some manners, for fuck sake! What if I was busy dining with the Y, uh?" he tells the guy. His eyes grow wide, same with you. "Don't you ever enter an occupied room without being invited first." Interrupts himself, with an intense tone. "Specially into a lady's room. God… Did your mother never teach you that?" 

"My mother died when I was a kid, I was raised by my father." he says sincerely, apologetic. You empathise and suddenly feel bad for the guy.

"Well, your father should have then." says Negan in a much calmer tone. "Now, what is it?" 

"Well… Actually…" says the boy, suddenly shying out. 

"If you have the balls to interrupt a conversation, you have to have the balls to tell me what's going on boy." says Negan, starting to lose his patience.

"Well, it's really stupid… It seems that the pe-prisoners you sent to clean up the S-Satellite Outpost…" he makes a pause and you notice he's sweating, probably scared of Negan's reaction to his next set of words.

"C'mon boy I don't have all night." Rushes Negan, already out of patience.

"They say there's a ghost in one of the rooms and they are causing trouble to the Saviours you sent with them…" says the boy, cringing tp how stupid that sounds.

"You mean Joey and Scott." you say, knowing that's who he sent there twenty-four hours ago. "People still believe in ghosts these days…? Unbelievable." you can't avoid to comment, to what Negan nods in agreement.  _ 'Or maybe is not that nuts, we raise after we die if we don't have our head burst like a fucking piñata. Why wouldn't there be ghosts too _ ?'

"You sure is not a dead fucker?" Negan inquires, like if he was talking to a child.

"Yes sir, it has been checked, nothing is in there but they still refuse to end their job in those rooms." says the guy, whose normal colour is going back to his cheeks.

"I'll go and see what's going on." you say with a sigh.

"Anybody else can do it. You don't need to." says Negan, in front of the now surprised Savior.

"I'm intrigued. Apart I know you've sent someone who's loyal, but a softie at the end of the day." Negan shows a sarcastic face. "Not trying to throw shade or anything. I'll go and sort it."

"Ok, cool." says Negan standing. "This one goes with you." he points at the now whitening back guy. "Show him how we do things in here, would you? Oh," then he approaches the boy putting a hand on his shoulder and says: "Don't enter this room again, not even knocking, or I'll send your ass to the fence." 

You are a little bit shocked, yet not fully surprised, about Negan's claim on you.  _ 'I should be careful if that's an owning kind of thing.' _ But dismissing the thought, you put on the jacket hanging on one of the chairs and walk out. Travis follows you closing the door behind you but keeps a certain distance behind you. It makes you huff and roll your eyes. 

You put the wheels on the road quickly and you drive sixty miles per hour but with all your senses on the road. You didn't drink that much but alcohol it's a dupe bitch and you are definitely not willing to have an accident.

"So, you are with Negan, then?" he asks, in a wrong friendliness that you are not up for. You push the brakes making the guy's eyes almost leave his head.

"I'll tell this only once, I won't repeat myself. We are not friends, I don't fucking care if I'm not your superior. We are not friends. Whatever shit I do, it's none of your business. You don't talk shit about me and I don't make you regret it. Are we clear?" you explain in a totally cold tone. "If not, you can leave the car now. It will give you better chances of surviving…" you conclude, in a death threat.

"We-we are clear." with no other word you start the engine and drive fast again.  _ 'This sweet bastard might be dead tomorrow. It's better this way.' _   
  


You step out of the car quickly followed by Travis. Joey appears on the door just as quick welcoming you as you make your way in. Scott seems relieved when he sees you are the one sent to the job. You guess they might be scared of Simon..  _ 'I'm the least scary on the food chain.. _ . _ ' _

"Where is the damn, whatever they think it is, thing? And I want to see those lazy asses there too." Joey starts to walk to guide you to the room. "Travis, you stay outside the door, be the backup. If it's actually something…" you say dismissively, rolling your eyes.

Joey opens the door and the light for you to see but also avoids to enter. The room is clean but unorganised.  _ 'After all they are more scared of Negan than a ghost.'  _

"What makes you think there's a ghost in here?" you inquire the grey suited guys, who are with their backs to the wall in front of the door, putting your shoulder against the frame of the door. Two of them look pale, the suggestion they were the ones to start the rumor. Stopping your eyes in them, "I hope this was not some sort of bullshit to create chaos or an excuse to be lazy-"

"We hear scratches and some sort of taps while we are in the room." Interrupts you one of them. "You can hear it too from the rooms next to it as if someone was scratching the wall... but then you come here and the room is just empty." he says 

"Well, that can be anything." you conclude.  _ 'At least I got an excuse to get away from Sanctuary…' _ you tell yourself.  _ 'If I could only get alone for a few hours and put my head straight about Daryl… Then again, this is as simple as not making stupid desicions, right?' you ponder.  _ "Show me, where is it?" you make a gesture for him to enter. He doesn't cross the frame but points to the wall behind the last bunk bed on the left. Then you walk there and make a gesture for Travis to help you move the metallic furniture for you to get next to the wall. Then you start taping in it.

Then you can see a weird form on the lower part of the wall. You tap over it and smile. It's a hidden wooden sheet, surely covering a ventilation duct that was problematic.  _ 'Sure it's a damn rat trapped inside of it.' _ Then you take the knife from your belt and put it on the crack between the wall and the sheet, to lever and open it. Finally working your way through it, the little white painted piece falls to your feet and you are quick to move away.

When nothing comes out of the dark hollow on the wall, you get on your knees and pull off your belt a little torch to look inside. You focus the light inside getting a growl in return from a really skinny but hairy cat. "Good lord." you mumble. "Hello darling, we're not going to hurt you." you tell the trapped animal before you stand up and walk to the door

"Joey, do you have some cat food in here?" you ask, suddenly feeling in a much better mood.

"Yes, I think so." he says with an odd look. "Why?"

"Find a box or something and pick him up if you can, once he's eaten and drank." you say as you close the door behind you. "Poor thing must be really scared to decide to spend his days here." you put the knife back on your belt. "Also take a look outside of the building and repair whatever grill it's broken outside. Or we will have all kinds of  _ ghosts _ around." you suggest, while looking at the new prisoners who look to the floor, ashamed.

"What do you want us to do with the animal? "Asks Scott who hasn't said a word until now.

"Bring it to Sanctuary. When he's all right he'll be useful with the mice and rats. Or  _ maybe _ , someone will want a pet. I just don't want the little thing suffering outside." you explain. "Now. Get your lazy asses to work or I'll make sure you don't leave the cells in a week when you come back." you grill the prisoners, who are quick to scatter like headless chicken to find their next tasks.

With no more words you also move on, closely followed by Joey and Scott with Travis behind them. Once you're outside you stop in front of the car and turn to look at the two in charge. 

"Next time, work your asses to find out what's going on before bothering Negan, please. You could have solved this yourselves. It was really easy. Really." you say in a lower tone, only for them to hear. "You are not stupid guys, 'cmon, show him what you got while you are here." you cheer up the two worried men.

"Was Negan angry?" asks Scott. "We didn't mean-"

"It's sorted, that's all that matters." you say opening the door and seating inside, you wave them goodbye before closing the door. Travis does the same and you drive back.   
  


As you transmitted the news by radio, you're welcomed by  _ The man _ himself. Your mood has gone better since you've found the cat, not that you really noticed how grumpy you'd woken up due to the sleep schedule changes.

"Do we go back to business?" he tells you with a mischievous smirk.

"I'll see you in my room." you say sternly but with smiley eyes, to look dutiful to the people around you. 

Travis has been fast to disappear as soon as you've arrived and you have a clear path to walk inside. Few seconds after you hear Negan footsteps following you through the hallways. 

When you enter your room he makes sure that no one is around and then he walks in, locking the door behind him with the button. You don't lose time and start pouring the Bourbon in the empty glasses, resting clean next to the sink. You give the first one to him and then you start to drink. 

He takes off the leather jacket, leaving it at the back of one of your chairs and Lucille on top of the table. You take off your boots and jacket, as well. As if you were synchronized you two sit at the couches leaning on the back. After the sequence of events in the last 48 hours you can say you all have earned a little treat. Although you are aware that work never ends at Sanctuary and you are privileged to be able to just sit down and drink Bourbon with your boss, you still enjoy it.

The bottle pours its last drop in between a conversation about family embarrassing moments. The end of a whiskey bottle, talking about memories of when you were younger, then with a laughter you go to the fridge and take a couple of beers. 

"Oh no darling, I appreciate that but I'm still in charge of this place. I can't get drunk until I lose my sense or I could lose my well earned respect." he says, standing up. "Also as much as I'm enjoying the company, we have business to attend tomorrow morning.  _ So _ , goodnight sweetheart." he excuses himself and you nod instinctively.

But as soon as he presses the button to unlock the door, you turn him around and lock it back. His back meets the door while you press on his body with yours. Your mouth finds his making him melt in.

You sinc the pace of your long and dragging kiss with your body rubbing against his until you make him moan. Drunk and horny, all you care about is the way his arms wrap around your body, how his warmth transfers to you through his white tee. How much you wish to rip it off. How your body feels intoxicated with his presence, driving you crazy, making you want him with the wildest depths of your soul. 

Your mouth pulls on his, at his lower lip as you make your best effort not to devour him on the spot. Then your mouth finds the end of his jawline and your little sharp teeth sink softly on his skin in a love bite that makes him grunt. As you do this his hands slide from your hips to your ass squeezing your cheeks and drawing the line of your calves to the warmest part of your body while pressing your pelvis against his now fully-hard manhood. The low grunt escaping his throat to the contact, accelerates your need and your hands find his belt pulling it off senseless. His button and zipper are fast to lose their purpose too.

Then things take a turn, now it's him losing his fight against his desire when he moves to make your back meet the door instead. Burying his head on your neck, he marks a hickey easy to fade, pulling off quickly, probably recognizing his own lack of sense. Then his hands squeeze tight in your thighs and he pulls you up to wrap your legs around his waist, making you take support with your forearms on his shoulders.

Your hips meet his at the same time he moves them and then you start grinding on each other while kissing, making you meul in his mouth. His hands travel to the back of your shirt, sneaking in to find your waist, where his digits pressing against your bare skin make your skin rise in goosebumps, only to follow their way up. One quickly moves back to unbuckle your bra while the other goes furtive inside the loose band.

One of your hands travels down his chest to his navel, putting your hand inside the waistband of his underwear to feel his shaft's soft skin in your fingers. There's some wetness to it and you smile in the kiss. 

The hand playing with your breasts goes down through your belly to unbuckle your belt and undo the button on your pants, then gets inside your panties. There his middle finger pressed between your folds to feel the wetness. Reassured with it, he introduces a finger, making you moan in his mouth again and pulling your lower lip, he grunts while smiling. You take your hand off his trousers and wet it with your tongue, meeting his eyes before you put it back in. Closing your hand on him you start pumping, copying the pace of his finger. There he introduces another one while pressing your bundle with his thumb with the perfect pressure. 

The pleasing goes on until you feel the edge of the orgasm. Freeing his shaft you grab his wrist making him pull out, then you motion to place your feet on the floor, struggling to keep up with your own weight but he still has hold on your waist. Grabbing his hand, you lead him to the bed making him sit down at the edge of it.

Pulling off your pants and panties you press your hands on his shoulders to make him lean down. Towering him you pull down his undergarments too as he raises his hips to ease the task. Without a second thought, starting to feel drowsy from lust and alcohol you mount on his hips leading his hard on inside of you. He groans and keeps you still for a second closing his eyes, feeling you.

"Were you really wanting me  _ that _ bad?" you smirk proudly, although your voice sounds honeyed.

" _ Shut up and move _ ." he mumbles, putting an arm on his forehead with his eyes still closed and bites his lower lip.  _ 'Oh my God…'. _

"No." you reply, in a stubborn tone. 

To that his eyes open, daring you with an eyebrow raised he puts his hands on your waist pushing you forward to give himself some room to move his hips against yours. Slowly, dragging against your walls. 

"No-no." you wrestle him by the wrists and put them at each side of his head, straightening. You know he could easily resist and win but instead obligues and gives you a kinki smirk.

With a stern face, still meeting his eyes, you start moving your hips slowly, rotating them in a spiral while sliding your hands through his arms to let them rest on his chest. Then his smile changes, looking at you as if he has never seen you before and then swallows. 

Taking off your shirt, he leans forward putting a hand on your back and another on the right side of your jawline to make you look up, then nibbles your neck making you gasp. Your hands move to pull off his jacket and he separates his lips from your neck to free himself from his white tee. Grabbing his face to kiss him, you start to rock your hips as he closes the gap between your bodies putting a hand on your nape and the other one around your hip. 

You moan on his lips motivated by your own motion, feeling every inch of him inside of you and he bites your lower lip. Then lets his head fall on your shoulder and groans.  _ 'I'm hitting a weak spot.' _ You smile while you let your fingers slide through his hair. Then he loses it.

He turns the position making your back meet the mattress. While love-kissing your neck, he thrusts in you, deep and slow. Feeling you. When your hand rests on his jaw as he kisses your chest, you notice the tension.  _ 'He's almost there.' _ But you also know he's resisting it. You turn you both again to the cowgirl position and he groans, deep, making you shiver in pleasure. 

"My way, love." you scold him with a smile when his chest goes up to fight back. He chuckless deeply frustrated while rubbing his face, letting his back fall on top of the now twisted blanket. 

Your hips rock wavy against his, a way you know you'll end fast. He notices it and allows you to use his gear for your own pleasure, guiding you with his hands on your waist without losing eye contact. When you edge the orgasm, he pulls you to his chest to end you himself with his devilish hips. You moan loud against his chest high pitched, as you reach an intense climax, feeling a wave of pleasure explode in you as your walls clench around him.

Still high from your release, you move up with your hands on his chest and bounce while spiraling your hips against his, twerking. The sound of flesh against flesh starts filling the room as his head falls backwards, eyes closed. You go harder once you feel him getting close, in a matter of seconds and after you lower your body to nip his neck, he groans deep, bursting inside of you. You fall on top of him, both your bodies covered in pearls of sweat. 

  
  


You feel movement at your side and wake up alarmed, not sure about what's going on, a little bit numb by the alcohol that has been drying your body in your sleep. Still drunk not yet reaching the hangover. You must have fallen asleep and Negan must have moved you because the two of you are lying next to each other different from the last memory you can recall. Negan's naked body is under your right thigh and your head rests on his chest. When you move the sore groins make you gasp, then you notice he's looking at you, fully awake.

"Sorry, I didn't notice that I fell asleep over you." you apologize rubbing your eyes and get off of him.

"It's all right, I moved you and I was mostly comfortable like this. Besides, a naked woman on top of me? Asleep or not… I won't complain." then you look at his naked body, the whole figure. Freaking out, thinking better about what happened, you look around the bed. "What are you looking for?" he wonders stretching his arms above his head.

"Condom…?" He rubs face and then pinches the bridge of his nose. You stop moving around and look at him, realising that he's gesturing what you have suspected. "Oh… my… god…"

"Don't freak out." he says, putting his feet off the bed. You look at him as if you heard the dumbest joke ever. "Carson has to have morning after pills, somewhere. I'll go find him right now." he says as he picks up his clothes and starts putting everything back on.

Before you have time to process, he's already out of the room. You put something on too, a long grey tank t-shirt that you've been using lately as a nightgown.  _ 'I could use a shower right now'  _ you think as you feel the stickiness of sweat on your skin and the mess Negan has made in you.

It doesn't take long for him to come back or you've not been able to tell time. He brings two little bottles of water and a packet of aspirins. He looks thoughtful as he looks at you but before you ask anything, you take the pill with a few sips of water, then the aspirin.

"I should leave, it's already 3 a.m. we have a lot to do tomorrow." He comments, not giving his mind away as he grabs you by the hips with both hands and touches nose to nose. " _ That is _ , if you don't want to come with me and sleep in my chambers."

"As lovely as that sounds… I still think what we do is a bad idea. And... I didn't take you from that kind of sentimental man. Specifically, because you have six wives." you say calmly, meeting his eye.

"What can I say? I have  _ a lot _ of love to give."  _ 'He always has an answer, doesn't he?' _ you think as you smile back.

"Maybe, I don't want your love." you say, cheekiness in your tone, as you move away with your hands at your back simulating playfulness. You check him, tip-to-toe, gorgeousness glowing on him and his after-sex aura. "Maybe I just want to use you. What you have..." you specify looking at his crotch then moving your eyes up to meet his, knowing the mischievous expression drawing in your face as you do so. Negan's head tilts while biting his lower lip, amused. "I am who I am and I want what I want. So, I'm having you, right?" you take a pause to get closer to the bed. "That's all it is, hm? I don't match in your standard, that's why you like me. Isn't it?" you conclude. Negan looks at you as if your clothes had just disintegrated right in front of his eyes. The truth is that he always makes people feel naked. As if he could read your mind, he kisses you grabbing on your ass.

"Well then, who are you?" he asks just a few millimeters from your mouth.  _ 'There it is, the question. The big fucking question. Who am I now?' _

"I'm Negan." you reply as your eyes never leave his.

"Right you are, and you know what that means, right?" he inquires.  _ 'You'll always get your way. But not with these big boss. Not with these.' _ you think.

"You can't obligate me to do anything I don't want to. That's what that means." Negan puts his head away from yours, to get a better look of your face. You are smiling and he seems genuinely surprised. "C'mon, don't break the mood…" you whisper, still playful. You blame the alcohol but the truth is that you are quite sober at this point.

"I wasn't going to." he murmurs. "You're right." Now it's you who is surprised but smile cheekily. "Yeah, don't get too cocky about it. Who knows, maybe you'll change your mind… Everybody does." he concludes and you see something shine in his expression along with his smile that you can't decipher. You guess it's a sort of mischievousness. 'Naah. I'm not going to fall even when it's true that you always get what you want.' you think. 

He finally leaves with a slight kiss that tickles your lips once he's gone. He's able to make your bones shiver when he wishes to and you feel damned to end up suffering for him.  _ 'Good choice… Definitely, a good choice.' _ you think, sarcastically.   
  


The sound of a knock wakes you up abruptly. You feel confused, as if everything that happened last night wasn't real, as if it has been just a dream. That is, until you switch position and your groins sting again and it's not until you hear Simon telling you to hurry that you notice what has woken you up. Once you reply, his steps sound through the hallways, walking away from your door. 

Wondering if someone actually knows what's going on between you and Negan, you get up from the bed.  _ 'Apart from Travis suspicions there's no one else who has mentioned anything about it, so…'  _ you think as a low curse escapes your lips when you stand.

  
  


_ The shower you took after Negan left cleaned you, although it didn't relax you. Your mind was a storm of ideas, not good ones. It was the handicap of drinking, although you thought alcohol didn't have so much effect at that moment,, it always opened the doors of your sad and dark side.  _

_ The halls were empty and you felt as if you were dreaming, your body slightly separated from your mind, you felt as if someone else was moving your feet. And it was awkward when you noticed you were in the hall of the cells in front of Daryl's door. Your back fell on the metallic frame and then you noticed someone was looking at you, Dwight. He was the silence, the words that you knew he wanted to say but he didn't, were flowing through your mind as if you were a telepath.  _ "Who is he for you?" _ but maybe it was you who was asking that question.  _ 'Who is he for you? After so many years. After all those man's that came and went between your bed sheets. Why do the memories remain so fresh? And why are you comparing what you felt with what you feel now for Negan? Is it the same?' flies through your mind. 'No. It's never gonna be the same.' _ your own voice replies.  _

_ You felt a tear fall through your cheek in front of a now surprised blonde guy who didn't know or understood what he was seeing. A tear for all those ones you cried till you became dry ten years ago. The words you couldn't tell. A reminder of how it felt to love truly. A reminder of a promise you made to yourself " _ I'll never love again". _ Then you got up and left.  _ 'I'll never love again.'

_ Your ghost steps lead you back to your room, where you left your weight being pushed by the gravity over your bed, the smell of Negan's hair in your pillow made you fall asleep in seconds.  _

_ You might have broken a promise but your love will always remain a secret. _

  
  


The room has still a slightl scent of sex and Negan's own scent, you are relieved that Simon hasn't entered to notice the not so obvious activities that you and Negan keep between this walls. You walk to the window and open it to get rid of any trail of what happened a few hours ago. 

The down is just breaking and you feel tired. Thankfully, the hangover is quite less damaging than if you didn't drink half of the water that Negan brought you. It was a good present after you feelt as the worst drinker in the world, and also, after blaming yourself to the kill point, for not using a condom with him.  _ 'I hope he's actually as healthy as he says and that pill to work, or I'll be terribly fucked up for the rest of my life one way or another.'  _ you think, knowing how really irresponsible that decision was.

Even with that, nother matter has your mind working. You remember the cells and seeing Dwight but don't remember what you did. Worried he might have seen the truth of your previous relationship with Daryl. Also, worrying about Daryl's fate is in Negan's hands. Wishing to try to find a way to bend his will without harming him, already aware that Negan will do anything in his hand to turn him a Saviour. 

Negan thinks Daryl can be useful because he's a resourceful person with fire on the belly. What he's not aware of, is how obvious his loyalty to himself and his group is. How well forged their relationship is and the difficulties to turn that apart. Or maybe he does but he knows himself capable.

You walk next to the cells and feel the urge to go there again to see for yourself what you might have done but you know if Dwight had seen something and talked about it you would already know. 

Simon is waiting for you inside of the truck, at the loading and unloading area. You've picked up a couple of pieces of fruit and the water bottle to eat on the way.  _ 'Wherever it is that we are going to do, I need my energy and my brain back to business or I might become someone else's breakfast.' _ Simon's smile is welcoming, unlikely on him, as if he knows something you don't.   
  


Going back to the Satellite outpost wasn't what you expected from this day but it's where Simon stops the truck. You get out of it looking at him oddly.  _ 'I was here just yesterday, did I miss something and I'm gonna get scolded for it? I would have loved a warning, thank you very much.'  _ you think sarcastically, starting to feel rehydrated and back to functioning.

"I thought Negan told you." says Simon, raising an eyebrow reading your expresion.

"Told me what?" you ask, raising your brows.

"You will be helping us to put the machinery back on." you roll your eyes as soon as he says that.  _ 'Well, anybody else would have been more useful as far as I see it.' you think.  _

"My mum was a militar not me, I ain't know a thing about satellites, I don't think my mum did either." you say, getting comfy over the bonnet of the car, expecting for him to pick the radio and complain. "I don't think I can be of any use on that." you insist. "You need an aerospace engineer or someone who really knows what to do with a computer, that might figure out what the heck's with those machines but I assure you,  _ that _ , escapes my knowledge. Completely." 

"Relax young lady. We already have that person but we need a second pair of hands, ones that are delicate enough." he replies with a smile of his own. 'Oh yeah… Sure' you roll your eyes once again. "Just kidding, we need someone smart enough to learn how that stuff works if our dear Edward has an accident. The Saviours are good soldiers but in general, using the brain doesn't seem to be their strong point." he explains.  _ 'Yeah, I can agree with that…' _

"Does Negan plan on killing that guy, Edward?" you ask, so cynical, that you actually surprise yourself and Simon on the way.

"No-noo, but Edward was luckily taking care of something in Sanctuary when  _ the prick _ attacked the outpost. We might not be so lucky next time." Says Simon thoughtful.

"You think they will attack again." you say without asking.

"Some people don't accept their fate. I think we might have just crossed that kind of people." he says before moving to walk inside.  _ 'So you think Negan should have killed them?' _ crosses your mind while following him.  _ 'Thanks God, he didn't.' _

  
  


Edward is a  _ friendly _ guy, skinny as the dead ones but a lot more healthy.  _ 'He might be one of Negan's top guys, doing this job...' _ you think, realising the fact that simple workers are not so well dressed and he's wearing a, somehow, comfy suit. As awkward as that is. 

He takes his time explaining to you the task you are about to do. Being really specific on how important it is that you are fully focused on it, how those materials are not easy to take care of and definitely not a priority for the scavengers. He is one of the few that takes this job as something important.

"With this you can check the anomalies that the satellite has picked up on the surface while doing the rotation but also this one at the side tells you what's around the satellite itself. So, If there's another satellite or any other object around it you can know it in seconds." says Edward.

"Did you find something? I mean, is there someone out there?" you ask him while he shows you another piece that needs a repair and you grab it carefully. "Ok."

"This satellite I took control of is a pretty simple one, you can't use it to communicate with other ships but I was using this one to hack another one that was near it. That was before the attack, so it might have moved and we might not have access to it anymore." Says Edward welding a little piece on a motherboard. "Also we still have a little bit of work in here, before that."

"That doesn't answer my question." You look at him inquisitive and he stops what he is doing, his blue eyes meeting yours.

"You are right." he agrees. "I think there's someone out there." He answers before his eyes and hands go back to what he was doing.   
  


Negan is in a bad mood when you are back. A couple of Saviours let Simon know about it, enough loud for you to catch it and for a second you have a bad feeling that Daryl might have escaped. Negan has some controlled explosive attitude going on when he is angry and that has your belly tied in a knot. 

That is, until you enter the meeting room, right after Simon and find Negan with his legs crossed at the edge of the table. _ 'It isn't that bad then. I guess.' _ He starts to speak about Daryl with Simon and then you notice Dwight right next to you with his back against the wall. Your worries grow for a second thinking you might have a bull-eye on your back.

As the conversation advances your inner fire lightens the wrong way, only the good judgement stopping you from shouting to Negan that you will let him out of soldiers if someone lies a finger on Daryl again.

_ 'But he's nothing yours.' _ says your inner demon.  _ 'Not your business, not your place to say.' _ keeps talking the dark voice.  _ 'He was a good guy, people don't change so easily. People who are bad now, it's because they were bad from the beginning. He was good.' _ speaks the other side of your conscience.  _ 'He might still be the guy you once loved...' _ but things would be a lot easier if he was just a monster. Then the words slid out of your throat with no obstacle. 

"I can break him down for you." you say, loud enough to interrupt the conversation.  _ 'Oh shit...' _ Negan is now looking at you genuinely surprised, so is Simon whose expression has changed to disbelief. Dwight is just inexpressive as always. You suspect he knows what you pretend but he's gonna play blind and deaf to it. Why? You can only wait and see.

"And how are you gonna do that?" Negan asks a little bit serious.  _ 'That's a good question.' _

"I have my own weapons to get what I want too." you say sternly, playing your confident card.  _ 'Yeah that's a good way to say it darling.' _ your mind has to work faster. Negan's vision darkens. "Also, you've been playing the bad cop and it doesn't work so far. Let me try the other side."

"That could be a good I-"

"No." Negan interrupts Dwight. "We don't do things like that here, you don't break a man being soft with him. He will break or he will end on the fence." he judgment 

"There's different ways to warranty a man's loyalty and I'm telling you, it's worth a try seeing your success so far." His look turns harsh, so does Dwight's feeling betrayed after he backed you upm "Dwight has worked on your ways. So far we see the dude is stubborn and strong. If my ways don't work. You can always go back to your method. I mean, what can you lose?" He looks at you in a way he hasn't yet. "Let me try a little."

"Fine, I give you the week after we visit Alexandria." he says while standing and getting closer to you. "If it doesn't work, I'll put him on the fence." he says only for you to hear.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys liked it. I really appreciate comments and suggestions. If there's something you would love to see, tell me, I might add it or I might just write a one-shot for you. Shy kudos are as well appreciated.
> 
> See you soon! ❤
> 
> (Any mistakes are due to English not being my first language, so please be free to do a constructive comment on mistakes)


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